Male approval

By the time I 10 years old I was labeled a "problem child". My mother, at her whit's end, sent me to live with my adopted Grandparents. I look back now and realize that I was only seeking some kind of male approval. I never knew my real father and the piece-of-shit guy who became my step-father was an uncaring, loathsome, waste of skin. I had older brothers, but I never seemed to have any connection with them at all.
"Grandma" and "Granddaddy" as I called them, were the quintessential Appalachian hill folk. They were poor and lived mostly off the land. And although this took place in the 80's and early 90's The home they lived in didn't even have running water. What the did have in abundance was, love. Not the touchy-feely, hug giving, kind of love, but I felt it nonetheless. For the first time in my life I started to feel true happiness.
Grandma and Granddaddy had several grown children, but in addition, they were know to take in wayward kids and help raise them. Over the years they had well over 20 different adolescent (mostly boys) stay with them. But with their advancing age, it seemed that I would probably be the last. But after about 6 months, Grandma told me "Tomorrow, another boy is coming to stay here a while. His name is Larry."
When Larry came in I immediately thought he was the coolest guy I had ever seen. He was 16 years old. With his shoulder length black hair layered in waves, he looked like Matt Dillon in the movie 'Little Darlings' complete with the pack of smokes rolled into his white tee-shirt sleeve.
Larry had been living in the city with his mother and brothers, Billy the younger one and Tommy the older one. Just like me, Larry was a problem child. His mother thought it would do him good to spend some time in the country. Larry was not overly thrilled with the idea, but he had no choice.
Being that there was no one else to hang out with for miles, I was the only companion for him.
Larry likely never had anyone ever look up to him or to think that he was cool. I'm sure that this helped stroke his ego. As the weeks went by, I tried to emulate him in every way.
He and I slept in the same room. We would talk for hours on end. He talked about sex all the time. He would tell me about the girls he had fucked and so on. I would ask questions about sex and he would answer. One question that stands out in my memory was when I asked him about cumming. "How much does a man normally cum? and how much does a woman normally cum?" In hindsight, I can say, he was pretty much spot-on: "A woman can cum up to like a pint jar full. A guy will only cum maybe a shot glass full."
I look back now and realize that he found himself in a quandary, He was horny and he wanted to convince me to suck his dick, but he didn't want to come off as anything less than manly. I'm sure he intentionally weaved the conversation to get me to volunteer.
He started by saying "There was this one time, when this dude paid me $20 if I would let him suck my cock." He looked sideways at me, not seeing disapproval he continued. "There isn't anything queer about that. I mean, letting somebody suck you off is alright." I nodded my head.
"I even sucked my brother Tommy's dick one time." he said
My mind was reeling. I too was grappling with the same quandary. He then asked in a off-handed kind of way "have you ever sucked a guy's dick?"
I distinctively remember thinking in my childish mind 'if I suck his dick, he will like me more.' I blurted out "I would suck your dick if you wanted me to."
"SSSSHHHHH Not so loud" he admonished me.
Only a thin wall separated our bedroom from Grandma's.
"Okay, wait until we turn the lights off, I will tell you when to come over here."
We talked for a while longer then he told me to turn the lights off. I laid in my bed in the dark with my mind spinning. My tiny little hairless dick as hard ad steel.
"Ok, come on over here." I finally heard him whisper.
Still wearing my underwear, I crept over and crawled under the covers of his bed. I crawled up next to him and was enjoying the heat of his skin against mine. I felt around his body and finally put my hand on his dick. I had never really seen another guy's dick before. The only thing I had to compare it with was my own. 2 things made a lasting impression on me. One was that his dick, even at half-mast as it was, seemed enormous to me. (now I realize that he was pretty much average. about 6.5 inches) the other thing was that he was not circumcized like me. The foreskin of his dick formed a spout at the head. I began to stroke him back and forth until I heard him whisper "Go ahead and suck it" I leaned down and wrapped my mouth around his soft cock.
I don't remember the taste or how it felt in my mouth, I just remember thinking 'How do I do this real good so that he will enjoy it?'
For the next half an hour I sucked his dick. Larry only spoke enough to give me some basic instructions. “watch your teeth, suck like a baby sucks a bottle, all the way down… ect” Having no experience, I’m sure my oral skills were less than spectacular. But you would think that eventually he would cum, I waited for him to, but after a while he said frankly “Okay, that’s enough.” I got out of his bed and back into mine.
The next day nothing was said about our nocturnal activities. But as soon as the lights went out, he again whispered “You want to come over here again?”
This time I striped off my undies and crawled in under the covers with him naked. I pressed myself against him to let him know that I was naked also. His reaction was not what I expected. He rebuked me “Go put your underwear back on and then come back.”
“I thought maybe you would want to….” I started to say feeling a little hurt.
“No, man I don’t suck anyone’s dick, I was just lying about sucking Tommy’s dick.” He said. The words he said were honest and brutal, but his voice and expression was kind and almost caring in a weird way. “You don’t have to do it again if you don’t want to. But, it felt really good last night.”
Him saying that it felt good was all the praise I needed. I went back put my undies on and climbed back into his bed. I sucked him with gusto until he told me to stop.

more to cum......

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