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I Gave My Straight Bestfriend a Blowjob
I'm a male in my mid-twenties and identify as bisexual, but I'm not interest in dating men. However, my first sexual relationship was with my straight bestfriend when we were growing up and I eventually had huge feelings for him.
When I was a lot younger, my bestfriend and I would always have sleepovers and cuddle (I never thought anything of it). He was attractive but I didn't have feelings for him. I didn't even understand sexuality yet. However, one day at school, he looked over at me and said, "wanna be gay for the year" I was shocked, confused and didn't say anything.
Two years later, we were walking home from school and he randomly held my hand. Once we were inside my house (we were home alone), he asked if I wanted to go outside and make out on the hammock in my backyard and I hesitantly said sure. Once we were on the hammock, he got on top of me, put his tongue in my mouth and we started making out like crazy. It turned me on and I loved every minute of it. After making out for about fifteen minutes we stopped because his mom was about to pick him up. After he left, I couldn't stop thinking about him for the rest of the day.
We saw each other at school the next few days and nothing happened, but that following weekend we had a sleepover at my house. When it was late and my parents were asleep, him and I were cuddling on my bed and he started making out with me again. After a few minutes I grabbed his dick and then he asked me if I wanted to give him a blowjob. I said yes and got up to lock the door.
After I locked the door, he sat on the side of my bed and pulled his pajamas down. (For as young as we were, I was rather surprised how huge his cock was.) I got on my knees, starred at it for a few seconds and then he grabbed the back of my head and stuck his dick in my mouth. I sucked his cock for about twenty minutes until he jizzed into my mouth and I swallowed his huge load. He asked if I enjoyed it and I told him that I loved it. (It turned me on so much that I jizzed in my pants without even touching myself.) After I swallowed his load, we made out for a few minutes and then we went to sleep.
Being so young, and not understanding my sexuality or sexuality in general, the next morning I woke up feeling confused and like I did something horribly wrong. (I grew up in a fairly religious household.) However, I enjoyed it so much and just thinking about it turned me on like crazy. A few hours after hanging out in the morning, he went home like nothing happened.
For the next few years, he would make out with me and let me suck his dick all the time, at his house, at my house, in the school bathrooms, and even at our neighborhood park. One time at school we almost got caught. I had just finished swallowing his huge load and he was pulling up his shorts when a teacher walked into the bathroom and noticed us in the same stall. Surprisingly, the teacher didn't say much and just told us to get to class.
Over those few years, I sucked his dick probably over 100 times and swallowed every load. However, for whatever reason, he never once sucked my dick or even gave me a hand job.
There were a few family and friends that were suspicious of us but no one ever really knew. His older sister would always make jokes that we were gay for each other but he would deny it every time and say that he isn't gay. He even had on and off girlfriends throughout those years.
Once we were in high school, he stopped making me suck his dick but we remained fairly good friends.
Fast forward to now, he's engaged to his girlfriend and we have never talked about what happened. Although, we are still friends and talk every now and then.
Even to this day, none of our family or friends know that we used to make out and that I sucked his dick a bunch of times.
As I said at the beginning, I'm currently in my mid-twenties and identify as bisexual. However, that has been my only experience with another guy.
I recently moved out of state but countless years later I still think about him all the time. He's the only guy I've ever had feelings for and I think I always will. I wish I could let him f*** me and take my anal virginity.
Is this something common? Have you ever had an experience like this?
What would you do? Should I ask him about it?
Do you think he's actually 100% straight?
I would appreciate your thoughts or any advice.
He's not 100% straight (I think most people aren't but don't want to admit it or are scared of it). But if you're still having feelings over it it's probably good to talk about it. It sounds like you need some closure. He's moved on and he may not want to cheat on his fiance but you need to move on and come to grips with his relationship. Who knows maybe he can set you up with a guy to enjoy.
Lots of guys have had consensual gay experiences in their youth. It's perfectly normal
Thanks for the advice! I think I'm going to text him tomorrow and mention it and see what he says. I'll let you know!
I talked to him and he brushed it off as nothing more than his "experimental phase." He said that him and I were his only same sex experience he ever had and wasn't interested in ever doing anything with a guy again." He said that he's only interested in women and loves his fiance dearly.