Dominated by desire

I'm a male that sometime likes to wear panties, and has lately had the desire to be dominated by black men.
The panty fetish dates back to a kid, when I would wear my moms panties and even used them to masturbate. I even had a pair or two stashed away, which later went missing, so I'm certain she had an idea to what I was doing, but she never said anything.
The BBC fetish, as I'd call it, is recent. It's actually pretty exact in what it is.
It involves me meeting a woman that wants to play with me wearing panties. Along the way she gets me bent over in a compromising position, like on my knees bent over the end of a bed. She then jumps on me to hold me down while a well endowed black man enters the room. He either pulls the panties down or to the side, and procedes to fuck me.
I don't mean gentle either. Full on, balls deep, railing me.
Doesn't hurt me in any other way, aside from destroying my ass of course. Keeps going until he finishes inside of me.
Other times it involves multiple black men taking turns with me. They take video of me getting railed, and write things on my ass about being owned by BBC, and post it on some website.

I don't believe I would let anyone fuck me, but thats the whole premise of the desire. Not willing but it still happens. Nor do I want images of me being used sexually on the internet. Thats the nature of the desire though.

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