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Stupid me
Bout a month or so gone by, I was all drunked up on the moonshine and blew thtee vertebrae out of my back and pinched my spinal cord trying to suck my own cock. The ambulance crew asked what happened, when they found me buck naked on my bed. I told them that I slipped on the bathroom floor and managed to crawl back to my bed. I had to have surgery and spent three weeks in traction, and still have severe pain. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but next time I need a blow job, I'll just go out and buy myself a whore.
I've always been a big guy with an average-at-best cock, and I've always wanted to suck myself but I am way too fat and not nearly flexible enough or long enough to actually accomplish it. I'm in my 40's and a few months ago I tried...I really tried...and wrecked my back. Thankfully I didn't need surgery, but it took weeks to get back to functioning normally again. I think I'll leave the head jobs up to my wife!
I used to be able to put my dick in my own mouth. Felt so good licking and sucking the head of my own dick. Unfortunately can’t do it any longer.
Darwin award winner of the year. Have fun with all that oxycodone you're gobbling !
Was your cock still hard when the paramedics showed up?
Paying for it may be a good alternative, but this experience is one you'll never forget.