Account Login
On ThePornDude Hall-of-Fame
Memorial Day Weekend 2019
SO looking forward to this upcoming holiday weekend! For those readers outside the U.S., it's Memorial Day and my wife is leaving me alone for three days to attend an out-of-state bridal shower. Additionally, the weather is going to be NICE--i.e., mid-80s/low 90s and sunny skies.
I'm a professional "executive type" in pretty good shape for my age (mid-50s): 5'11" tall, 165# in the nude, fairly smooth (not a lot of body hair), trim athletic build, above-average cock (7" cut) with close-cropped pubes (a stubble-length racing stripe) and clean shaven balls, crotch and asshole. I know my wife appreciates the look.
But I digress...
I plan to do a little "showing off" this weekend, which includes getting up at 3:30 a.m. and walking completely naked (no mask, no shoes, no nothing) all around our upscale neighborhood, which isn't very well lit. We live in a small secluded subdivision of a major midwestern city and I'm on the board of the HOA, so I know that we don't have any surveillance cameras.
I'll probably start by taking a swim in the HOA's swimming pool, which we share with some neighboring town homes. From there I'll keep walking, dripping wet, stopping from time to time to look down and admire my Viagra-fueled cock in the moonlight, which will be rock hard.
The route I'm going to take is about a 2.5 mile walk, through our subdivision and the town homes. The riskiest part of the walk will be when I pop out onto a main road to make the short walk from the town home section back to our subdivision. Lots of street lamps here, so I'll have to be extra careful and watch/listen for any oncoming cars.
Gonna finish things off by shooting a huge load while relaxing on our front porch.
I know I'm going to get a lot of replies about being busted, but I should add that I have done this a few times before and am extremely careful (and good) about NOT being seen (let alone caught). That's the last thing I need, since neither my wife nor any of my employees at my company have any idea that I'm an exhibitionist pervert.
I'll be indulging both Friday and Saturday nights.
This is going to be SO much fun!
Ever hear of doorbell cameras? Private cameras?
From where I was walking along the sidewalks, I was too far away from any private cameras installed on somebody's house. Let alone doorbell cameras. Plus the night was very dark (no moonlight) and our subdivision is poorly lit. As for the little "presents" I left behind at Kathy's and Julie's homes...well, my wife and I are friends with both and are over at their houses a lot for get togethers. I know for a fact that neither has any outside surveillance.
My wife just called me from the road. She'll be home in about two hours.
No more nighttime walks through the neighborhood.
Bummer.
SUNDAY MORNING, 3:00 AM. Couldn't really fall asleep so I headed out early. I opted to shoot this morning's decent-sized load all over the driver's door handle on Julie's BMW that was left out overnight in her driveway. Quite the sticky mess! Julie is another neighborhood hottie, a young mom about 20 years younger than Kathy and quite fuckable. I was fantasizing about doing her bent over the hood of her car when I literally exploded.
After leaving Julie with her little "morning surprise," I headed home. That's when I heard a car approaching along the main road of our little subdivision. I scrambled for cover behind a large tree just in time. It was Ken, Julie's next door neighbor. Shit! I watched Ken pull into his garage and close the door behind him. He must have been out late at a party.
Talk about a close call! But it made me so fucking horny that here I am...typing this update on my front porch again completely naked with another raging hard-on. After I post this, I'm going to sit back and stroke off to thoughts of watching my long-legged prick tease wife getting fucked by 2-3 of the neighborhood hubbies right out here on our driveway in the middle of the night.
While I watch.
Gee I hope a bunch of mad dogs take after you snapping at your cock, nuts and arse really taking to you and removing at least a cock or one nut.
That will teach you you stupid moronic cunt
Such hostility!
Your a real little wanker arn't you buster, probably so ugly and a real goose.
SATURDAY MORNING, 4:15 AM. I'm back from my walk. Sitting here on our front porch typing this update on my cell phone, totally naked. Our house is on a cul-de-sac so no traffic back here. Ever. Enjoying a Scotch.
My walk took about 30 minutes. Mike and Kathy's house is around the corner from ours; it was so great launching a whole week's worth of my baby batter all over their patio door. Not my fault...that was Kathy's doing.
She's such a whore.
If she is a whore why don't you actually fuck her instead of blaming her for you painting her patio doors with jism?
We're just about 10 hours away from my 3:00 a.m. wake-up call. Gonna get liquored up on Scotch before heading out...
Since you've mentioned the scotch, twice, I have to ask. Do you usually take a drink before heading out on your nocturnal strolls ? I ask, because, that's what I used to do when I went on my nudie walks, usually while peeping in windows. I would smoke marijuana, too. I would advise you to exercise caution while doing that. The only time I almost got caught was when I'd had a bit too much, and let my guard down. Guy came after me with a flashlight, and I'm extremely lucky it wasn't a gun. I was also lucky in that he was a bigger dumbass than me and took a hard right when I had taken a left. I watched his flashlight dancing away in the darkness, while I stroked my hard cock.
Point well taken. I confess to exaggerating a bit when I said I was going to get "liquored up" before heading out. I actually only had one small dram of Scotch before my walk, and then a couple more afterwards. You're absolutely right about having your senses about you when you do this. If I'd have been stumbling drunk, I never would have heard that car coming and I would have been BUSTED!
Hope you lose your keys and can't get back in the house you creepy prick
No worries there. The house will be left unlocked.
And thanks for the compliment! You've inspired me to change my plans. Instead of shooting my load on my own front porch like I'e done in the past, I think this time I'll save that for one of the neighbor's. The wife (Kathy) is extremely fuckable and I fantasize about her all the time. I'll relax back on their patio and pretend that I'm doing her right then and there.
...and since I'm a heavy cummer, maybe I'll stroke myself off while standing in front of the sliding glass doors to their patio. Not only will I be able to admire my reflection in the glass in the moonlight, but when I erupt it will go all over the glass. Nice!
I love a heavy cummer, like to gulp it all down my throat.
I hope that in your frenzy to ejaculate in front of your neighbours glass door you stumble and fall through the glass cutting your dick and testicles off on the way down only to be attacked by their Rottweiler which gobbles up your shrivelled dick in the process.
They don't have a dog
Gfy
If I could do that I'd never leave the house.