Embarrassing Hookup (Tampon+Drugs=Disaster)
Once when I was 19 I went to chill party at a friends dorm where we were all doing mdma and having fun. I ended up getting a massage from a guy friend of mine and we made out for a bit.
We went to his place and were going to fuck but I couldn't get him inside me so I gave him a bj and we went to bed later.
I woke up the next morning and went to the bathroom. I then realized that not only did I have a tampon in from last night (just finished my period). But I was also so high that at the party I put another one in without realizing I didn't take the first one out. I never told the guy, but since he didn't fit he decided to tell everyone he had a huge dick and i was a virgin (both were false).
tl;dr: tried to fuck on mdma with 2 tampons in, hilarity ensues.