Heavy girl depression
I've always struggled with my weight. I'm 5'4" and currently 215 lbs, but I've been slightly slimmer in the past. I'm 24 and have dated a lot of guys, but I think I've been used for sex often. Guys always seem to like me for a bit when we are new and having sex, then say subtle mean things about my weight as I seek commitment, and eventually they move on to date thinner girls. It is a trend. I want to be myself and have a prince charming long-term.
I've been told that my face is very pretty, and I dress well. I have a good job and I'm college educated. I've been willing to do things to keep guys that I wouldn't ordinarily prefer, such as taking cock in my ass, swallowing while giving bjs, or letting a guy cum on my face. Those aren't things that get me hot, but I do them, because I know guys like that. And it's not like I'm a vanilla-type when it comes to sex, because I've dated guys who have encouraged me to try threesomes, bondage and stuff, and I've done it. But my boyfriends always eventually leave.
So here I sit in my studio apartment on a weekend, alone and depressed. I have few friends and no guy currently in my life. What is it going to take?!? The reality is that I'm never going to be a swimsuit model, and I'm not a crazy bitch like many of the girls for whom guys leave me. I have no desire but to have love in my life and give it back. I am so depressed.