Sexual reoccurring nightmare (long and semi-detailed)

I'm female, and 27 years old. I've really been wanting to get this off my chest, so i'll just say it. I've been having a reoccurring rape dream lately. I would call it a nightmare only because half way through, it gets violent.

It begins with me in my bedroom, either laying down on my stomach or my back. A shadow pins me down, throws the covers off me, and begins sliding their hands under my t-shirt. I'll admit, it starts off intimately. With this figure touching my breasts, playing with my nipples, and then following down to my side. After that, i'm normally kissed, or my shirt is pulled above my breasts. I don't wear pants to bed, but in the dream i wear shorts or yoga pants. When my bottoms are removed, but becomes violent. They tear down my underwear with one hand, hold me into the mattress by my throat or neck, and then shove their way inside of me. The sex is rough and ridiculously vivid. Normally painful in my dream, but after a while, i just don't feel it. I can't speak, i'm being held down- i remember not being able to move, or being too scared to (paralyzed maybe?). And then the stranger switching holes to violate my 'no-go' zone too.

Pause: Look, i like rough sex. But i'm not really...an anal person. So that mixed with the rape, really makes this a nightmare for me.

Continuing: When they are done having their way, the person pulls out. But they don't leave. They use their fingers to toy with me. And in my most recent nightmares, they also fisted me too... Again, in -both- holes, and it doesn't feel pleasant. Thankfully, I'm usually able to force myself awake at this point, or slightly before.

I don't really like the second half of this nightmare. But the first half is pretty appealing. I don't know if this is a sick fantasy, or one of those weird dreams from not having sex for a long time. I frankly needed to get this off my chest, because it's been getting to me lately. Should i seek professional help? Does anyone know what the fuck is wrong with me?

Note: If you're going to comment, please make it advise or something relevant. I'm embarrassed enough as it is. If this wasn't a confession site, i wouldn't be telling anyone at all.

Thanks.
-Ophelia

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  • Hard to say not knowing all that much about you, your personal history, your sexual past, etc., but it doesn't seem to me to be a fantasy per se. It may stem from not having sex in a while and/or it could be coupled with deep seated fears you may have for your own welfare or safety. A friend of mine, a sister-in-law and a friend of the sister-n-law all experienced something similar when they were between partners and living on their own in some questionable areas of town. All reported it going away when they began steady relationships and moved into nicer surroundings. The sis-in-law maintains in her case that her shrink indicated it was a case of latent fantasies for a truly loving and romantic relationship with a former fiance gone wrong when she was dumped and the guy quickly became engaged then married to a former friend. Her shrink suggested she move in with someone (in this case she moved back home for a while) to see if the dreams went away. In her case it did. In the other cases the women added home security systems, enhanced the locks on doors and windows, even obtain concealed carry permits and purchased weapons to defend themselves from intruders. Then speaking from my own experience, if I don't have sex in a while I will have some crazy sexual dreams although nothing violent. Wouldn't hurt for you to seek some professional help. Seek out a reliable specialist with a good reputation and see what they may say. Best of luck and keep us posted on how you are doing with it.

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