The reason my marriage frustrates me
I've been married for almost 20 years to the same amazing, smart, funny and beautiful woman. We have a lot of fun together, we have no children (by choice), and sex is very good at worst, often incredible. We're both very open minded and spice things up constantly: we're allowed to have other sex partners as long as we inform the other, priorize each other, and are responsible about it. we've also tried threesomes, swinging and group sex.
I wouldn't blame you for thinking i've got it pretty good. and that's the truth. but you see, i do love my wife, only she's not the woman i'm IN love with. She's the woman I have sex most often, but rarely the woman I make love to. And with such sexual freedom, why wouldn't I be with my soulmate by now?
Because it's a forbidden thing. The woman i'm in love with is my own sister.
Don't ask me why, or how, it's just the way it is. You love who you love and we've both accepted that. We were in love with each other since we were kids, and the feeling didn't fade into adulthood. We lost our virginities to each other. All the way up to college, we only "dated" each other (meaning, neither of us had boyfriends or girlfriends during those years. We often met up at hotels and generally avoided being seen with each other). But family and peer presure led us to try and keep the appearance of being normal, and we accepted the fact that we had to date other people, as much as it hurt. We allowed each other to experience sex outside of our relationship, and love each other in secret.
But you know, now that we're both in our 40s (she's the older one by little more than a month), it becomes more and more frustrating to wake up and not be beside the one your soul is connected to. We know: no one would ever accept us. I want to be able to look her in the eye and tell her that I love her not only in private and when I'm inside her, but also in public too. I'd like to hold hands with her, and tell other people she's the love of my life, even is they know we're siblings. Go on vacation together and be able to kiss without worrying about someone recognizing us.
Sure, the sort of open relationship I have with my wife provides the perfect cover for our affairs (I've taken advantage of it in the past to have sex with other women, but nowadays my sister is pretty much my only other partner). But I'm getting tired of it, and I'm on the brink of ending my marriage... I want to love her fully and openly. My wife doesn't deserve this kind of cheating, and we're tired of cheating ourselves, my sister and I...