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[Advice please] Freaky BF and I'm Conflicted About It.
When we first met, he warned me that he was into some freaky shit. I thought "No problem. Aren't all guys?" So i told him that i had no issue with it, and that he was into whatever he was into.
But when we finally had sex, he asked me to tie him up and whip him. At first it took me by surprise. But i did what he asked.
"You're being too gentle," he told me. "You have to flick your wrist."
Again wary, i did what he asked. And he moaned.
Oh my god, i thought for sure it would hurt him, but he actually liked it??
I'm so conflicted. I want to make him feel good, but at the same time, i'm worried that i'll end up seriously hurting him. People who are into BDSM or can relate, please give me some advice. When should i draw the line? Any ideas that might give us a happy medium? If this is nothing to really worry about, should there be a safe word?
Thank you. Advice is much appreciated.
-L
If you're not into it too, just ghost him. YOU have your own desires to take care of.. Make it more about You!
Be honest with him and express your worries and fears. If you want to indulge his fantasies, let him know you're absolutely willing to do it, but you need time to acclimate to the situation and carefully learn how far to go.
Agreeing on a safe word can really help because you know there's a specific thing that means stop, which can help you relax during your sessions.
Listen to the Savage lovecast (it's a podcast) there's also lots of kink resources online as well. Have a safe word and have fun, as long as you two are consenting adults I don't see what's the harm. If you really like this guy, then why not indulge in his fantasies, who knows you might have some kink other people might find weird, then he can return the favor.