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I did a bad thing
So I was rooting around in my parents bathroom last month because they were out for the evening and I was bored. I'm a young teenage guy, and I enjoy wanking my pud in my mothers used panties and on her bras, I think a lot of guys my age do this, so I don't think its too bad.
Anyhow, I found a couple of bottles of cherry flavored douche under the sink. I don't know why, but it kinda turned me on knowing that my mother was going to squirt this up her pussy, so I pulled the top off of one and blew a big load of my cum into it. I put the top back on, shook it up, and put it back under the sink. They got back home a couple hours later, and it was getting late, so we all went to bed. I layed in my bed and my cock got hard wondering if my mom was in the bathroom squirting her cherry flavored douche up her vag with my fresh cum in it. I stroked out another quick nut then went to sleep.
I checked under the sink the next day, and sure enough, the bottle I spunked in was gone. My cock got hard again, so I blew another load in her last bottle of douche.
I thought this was really funny, but last night My parents were yelling and screaming at each other, and I heard dad ask mom how the fuck she can be pregnant. Dad had a vasectomy years ago, so either my mom's been fucking around, or she got pregnated from my sperm. I doubt mom has fucked anyone else, but I hope she has. I feel like I should tell them what I did, it could save their marriage, but I would be sooooo embarassed and in a world of shit.
Wait until she does an Ancestry.com search and finds out your the father...
Douche doesn't come in flavors.
Yes, it does.
Scents, idiot.
My old lady uses flavored douches. They do exist. Google it. They are quite tasty. My favorite is wild cherry.
You're a moron. A douche contains soaps, antibacterials and chemicals to adjust the pH of the vagina. None of these would be conducive to keeping your sperm alive between when you blew your load and when she used it.
No, you are the moron. Flavored douches made for sex play contain only sterile water, flavorings, and preservatives. They are not made for cleansing the vagina, and are not antibacterial or spemicidal. Their only purpose is to flavor the vag for more enjoyable oral sex.
Those same preservatives are there as antibacterials. The sperm would not survive. Check and mate.
Sperm is not a bacteria nor a fungi. Common food preservatives will not kill it, especially in the low concentrations they are used in these products. Hypothetically, if the PH level of the product is not to high or low, and the temperature is in the proper range, the sperm could easily remain viable for 24 hours or more, so this story, however unlikely, is at least plausable.
Ha, true or not, this is great. Give that boy a cheroot for creativity at least.