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Take her
I've been depressed lately, at least that's the excuse I keep giving myself as I think back through my feelings from today. I was on a plane coming home from a business trip and after we taxied to the boarding gate I stood and noticed the woman in the row ahead of mine. She was young and attractive, shot blond hair, the look of a girl who grew up wealthy.
When I looked at her I suddenly had a waking dream of beating her. Just smashing my fist into the side of her head until she was dazed> Then dragging her into the now empty aisle of the airplane, tearing her black leggings off and fucking her as she struggled. When I was done I would stand and urinate on her prone body while she cried. I realized this was a dream, but I had the strongest erection I've ever had, and once I got into the terminal ended up jacking off in a stall.
I'm sitting at home now and don't know what to think about this. I've never gotten off on rape fantasies before, never had this vivid of a waking dream, never considered hitting a woman for my own pleasure.
My confession, is that as I sit here writing this and remembering what had happened I'm getting hard again. I want to revisit that scene in my mind while I jack off. I want to savor ever punch, the feeling of her hair in my hand as I drag her from her seat, the sound of her leggings tearing, she struggle as I enter her. I have never been a violent man, never thought these types of things before, and now I can't get those images out of my head. I should be ashamed and repentant, but all I can think of is how to make my fantasy a reality.
Confession: i want that done to me. i'm 18, 5'7", female, caucasian, i have 7 piercings (including my nipples), and multiple tattoos. I want someone to grab me on the street one day, beat me, rape me, and kidnap me. I want to be held hostage for weeks and violated regularly, i want to be drugged up for most of it and i want food and water to be withheld from me unless i please my attacker. I want to be kept on birth control so that he can finish inside me, and i want to be tied up humiliatingly and punished regularly. after my attacker has broken me, i want him to dress me up in an outfit that he picks out for me, give me two xanax, and then take me out on a "date" with him. i want him to force me to keep a vibrator inside of me during dinner, i want it to be the first meal he's allowed me in days, and before we leave the restaurant i want him to take me into the bathroom and beat and rape me silently. Then i want him to take me out to a club and roofie me, rape me on the dance floor and in multiple places on the way home, and then again at home. i want to be tied up, abused, and starved for several more days, and fucked and beaten regularly. after that, anything my attacker desires. ideally, i'd be released and we'd do it again a few months later.
i think there's something seriously wrong with me.
Don't worry about it, these are just fantasies. We all have them. That's why there's so much rape porn and so many people acting these fantasies out through role-playing or BDSM. I jerk off to rape fantasies or rape porn myself from time to time. Some studies have actually shown that one of the most common sexual fantasies among women (I think it was even THE most common) is being raped by a dominant man. While no woman would actually want to get raped for real, the thought of being dominated and ravaged is a huge turn on for most ladies.
I think it's relatively normal, as long as you don't act on it. I've seen so many young, too-pretty, perfect-smiled daddy's girls (of age), out and about or at the sports pub I go to, that similar things have gone through my head...Want to go up behind her, throw that perfect little fake-tanned body and sweet but probably a slut-looking face to the floor, tear off every bit of clothes, and fuck the hell out of her as she screams for help, wrists snapping in my grasp.
Never acted on it, nor would I, but..We all need release sometimes, and, these thoughts and fantasies are what happens.
Brutally raping me took my relationship with my boyfriend to a wonderful next level. It might work out for you.