Our solution to my husband's sterility pt 1
It was my husband's idea but, I admit I didn't argue against it much. We could have gone with a sperm bank, but I think we both wanted to be naughty or adventurous, or whatever. We were in our early thirties, financially secure, married 8 years, and had been trying to have a baby for two. After going through numerous tests we found out Steve, my husband, had a sperm count of near zero. He's not one to wallow in self-pity, so after we got past the initial shock, he started suggesting solutions. I really wanted to experience pregnancy so we left adoption as a last resort. We've always been been faithful to one another, but we've also discussed our wildest fantasies over the years and he knew I wouldn't freak out no matter what he threw out there. I rejected his suggestion of a "gang bang" (to be fair to him, I had once mentioned a group sex scenario during one of our pillow talk fantasy sessions, so that wasn't totally out of the blue). I couldn't do it. Too scary, and I need to be in more control. Then he half-jokingly suggested I just seduce somebody. After a lot of discussion, we decided I'd date different guys as if I was an unattached, libidinous single girl. Two reasons for that decision. One, we wouldn't face any future custody problems because the bio father's identity would be uncertain. Two, I'm human, and if I were to date only one guy, I might be more prone to develop feelings for him.
Safety was the most important thing, though. I wasn't going to just pick some guy(s) up off the street. I wanted reasonable assurance that they weren't psychos and were free of STDs. We decided that college guys would be the best way to go. They'd be young and more likely to be intelligent, athletic and healthy. We live in a small town in the midwest, but about 80 miles away is a large state university (about 20K students). We found that the school offers students free STD tests. I figured I'd hang around campus and the surrounding area, in the coffee shops, clubs, etc., and go hunting, so to speak. I intended to develop short term relationships with a few guys and see them all regularly at different times. I'd use a fake name, and just hope I saw no one who'd recognize me. I'd rent an apartment near the campus and have Steve drive me there and pick me up when I called him.
The first time I went hunting for a stud I was nervous but excited, and pretty confident. I was dressed too young for my age, but I look younger than I am so I could pull it off. I went for the slutty look, but not totally trashy. I work out and still have a flat midriff, so I decided to show it off a little. I went with a white blouse tied a few inches above my navel, super tight faded blue jeans (commando, with some camel toe) and white 4 inch high heel sandals. I looked pretty sexy if I do say so.
I had Steve drop me off one evening at a club close to campus. I looked the place over and saw this one guy who looked like a little like Steve when he was younger. He was by himself, acted a little shy and seemed safe. I went over and sat down beside him. He was startled but he looked really grateful. Good sign for my purposes. We got to talking and I gave him all kinds of signals and chances to ask me out, but he didn't. I could see he wasn't too experienced, but I was also pretty sure he wanted me. I finally invited him to my apartment. We took a cab there and as we walked up the steps he put his arm around my shoulder. His hand was shaking. My first thought was, god, this is such a sweet kid, maybe this isn't going to work. When we got inside I leaned into him and he held me and we kissed. He suddenly got a lot more eager but he was clumsy. I started to take his clothes off and he began helping me with mine. That's when I realized I was going to be with a guy other than my husband for the first time since we married, in fact, since I was in college myself, and I became even more nervous. I went for my purse and fished out a condom (I didn't want to go without one until he was tested) and put it on him. His size was about average, he was throbbing, super hard, which made me feel relieved.
Been there did that. We avoided having children at first as we were dabbling with the swinging scene and both were "cheating" on each other. She was FWB with three ex 's and I had a "work-wife." What none of them knew was both of us knew everything and was fine with it. None of her ex's knew about the others.
When we were more ready we left it up to luck and stopped running interference. No luck. Then we started really trying, with constant temperatures and the like. No dice. Then we started going to doctors. I wasn't infertile but I learned I did have a low count. She then found out only one side was putting out ovum so only half the time an egg was sent out. Put together we weren't getting pregnant anytime soon.
When we started thinking along your lines, her biggest concern was the kid passing as mine. So everyone she took bareback after that had to look much like me. It didn't matter though. My little swimmers got a head start and finally finished the race. We didn't realized that until years later though when DNA testing became easily gotten.