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My wife
My wife is turning into a frump, just mopes around most days and does not want to do anything. We have not made love in at least a year probably two if I had to put a timeframe on it. I tell her she is beautiful, told her lets take a vacation to the beach all I get is yeah right I am beautiful and are you kidding I would not be caught on a beach anywhere. I talked her into going to Vegas and she loved the hotel room so much that she spent hours just watching all the channels and enjoying the view. I went out a few times but it was just like being at home, me walking around and seeing the sights.
I have told her to try working out, get a trainer to get you a program you can do. I talk to her all the time asking her what I can do, what is the matter. She tells me nothing is the matter it is just what a woman goes through and I would not understand. She told me the other day that I needed to trade her in on two twenty five year olds, I asked her if she was trying to kill me. I mean I cannot force her to go to a trainer or counselor, she is not going to tell her doctor anything she just pretends to be happy when friends come over then complains about them all after they are gone.
I tried to comfort her some the other day and it was another rejection with her telling me that she was fine and not to worry about her but it just seems like she is really down and does not want anyone around her.
Sounds like depression; you should get her some help, not cheat. Try oral on her or if she is religious go to the New Testment(you can punch it in on yahoo and it should tell you the verse). It says plainly that a wife/husband is to do it every other day and to not cheat each other except for a short time that they agree on. I would insist on getting her help. Also they have meds to up her libido.
Ditto, this is far, far, far, from normal even for a post menopausal woman and though you dont say how old either one of you is, I would venture a guess that you are both past your mid 40s. If that is the case, she may not even be pre or peri menopausal but just deeply depressed and there is even a risk that she might be suicidal at times. I urge you to encourage her to get some professional help and I would urge you to find some --independent of her's-- professional help for yourself as this situation can be exceptionally stressful for anyone in your position. Most importantly, STOP TELLING HER TO GET A TRAINER (I am a guy and essentially tone deaf when it comes to people) even I know that women hear a lot of horrible things in their own heads when one says something like that or even tries to answer that old standby "do these pants look fat on me?" While I am at it, when you talk to her, make it all about her, do not use I unless you are talking about your feet hurting inside your shoes or how hard she makes you; treat her like it is your first date.
Incidentally, have her make an appointment with an OB/GYN because there is the possibility (particularly if she is younger) that there is something growing in or on her ovaries and the change in her hormonal environment might be a warning sign.
This is not normal. She needs help. If help is absolutely impossible for her, then you should at least help yourself. Very sad.