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My desire to suck cock.
I'm a 20 year old guy. Ive never had sex. I've never had a relationship. I've never even kissed a girl. I don't find men attractive, but for some reason I'm extremely aroused by penises. I don't have a size preference, but they have to be circumcised. I fantasize about being bottom with a man or shemale. Sucking cock is what I want to do the most. I want to suck cock so bad. If I think about having a rock hard cock in my mouth for five seconds, I have a full hard on. Maximum stiffness. I want to act on this powerful urge. There's a problem though. If I sucked a cock, I'd love every second, but once I cummed, I'd hate myself for the rest of my life. I'd feel so dirty and degraded. I'd look in the mirror and I'd see a slut. The memory would haunt me forever. Im already ashamed at myself for wanting to do it. What am I supposed to do? Not act on these urges and sexually starve myself? It's healthy, perfectly natural, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality, but I'm forbidden from doing it, because of myself. One more thing that's worth mentioning. I have an enormous foot fetish. It's only with women. I once licked soles and sucked toes. She was sleeping. I know how wrong that is, I was a stupid 15 year old. A girl could cram her foot ankle deep in my mouth, and I wouldn't hate myself afterwards, but it comes to an enormous halt if it's a cock. It doesn't make sense. Please help me.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Our society makes it hard for us to be as sexual as we naturally would be. I know it's easier for women. If I said I wanted to lick a pussy, it would be seen as a turn on. I love men, but I wouldn't be opposed to being with a woman. I never have been, but there's always hope. I'm all wet now.
I'm the same way about dick. I love them, it makes me hard, I'd love to get my face cummed on and everything, but everything would feel awkward the second I cum.