Just coming to terms that I'm a sex addict.

Last night I was about to do my nightly ritual before sleep. Look up porn. Before it was a tool to arouse me to get me in the mood to rub one out and then it was prime sleep time. Then a thought reminded me of Fight Club, when Marla would bounce around to all those AA type meetings and so did the narrator just to feel something.

I looked up meetings for sex addicts. It was something to fill my day if I had nothing to do and plus just to have the experience. Might get lucky too. Then I looked more deeply into it and answered their questions. I answered 7 out of 10 on the positive side. Meaning I really did have the problem. I called the hotline and no answer but then again it was late or early morning, however you want to call it.

First thing today I called and spoke to a nice man for 45 minutes, it felt like a burden that was lifted off. I was going to power on and get ahold of of this thing that lurks deep inside and after we had hung up I slipped. I was replaying our conversation and it brought up memories I had long buried and found myself aroused.
'You have a half hour before you have to start get ready to go to the meeting. You can watch one quickie. You'll be getting help today, but it's not safe to quit cold turkey. One more can't hurt.' This is the lie I told myself. That 1 turned to ten and then I rubbed and fell asleep totally forgetting about the meeting. Need help.

By Anonymous

Embarrassing CONFESSION

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