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I tried to seduce my dad and now he hates me
I did something really stupid and awful. I want to try to explain, but I don't know how. I wanted to be closer to my dad. I wanted a special relationship with him. I guess I wanted him to love me more. And I guess I thought I could use sex to get it.
I know that's messed up, but I didn't do it because I wanted to. I did it because I felt like it was the only way to make him love me. I barely remember my mom and I don't love my stepmom. I don't know how to explain it. I just hate feeling alone all the time.
I thought if he woke up to me "servicing" him he would pretend to be asleep until I finished him off, and then we'd start doing stuff like that and have our own secret relationship. I was wrong.
He yelled at me and called me a "little fucking whore." He grabbed me so hard he twisted my arm and left big bruises on it. Then he literally THREW me out of the room. He looked so disgusted with me! I locked myself in my room and cried for hours, and he never came to talk to me. I thought about running away but I don't have a car or any money, and I have nowhere to go.
He hardly ever talks to me anymore. I've tried to talk to him, not about that but just about normal stuff, but he looks at me like he doesn't even know who I am. It breaks my heart the way he looks at me. :(
My stepmom knows something's going on, but I don't think he's told her. I think she'd want to kick me out if she knew what I did. My brother asked me why we're fighting and I told him it's none of his business. I'm afraid if it keeps on like this they're going to think my dad did something to ME! Like I don't already feel guilty enough! :(
It's not even like I really wanted to have sex with him. I only did it because I wanted a special relationship with him, but now I feel like he hates me. I wish I could go back in time and not do it, but I can't. So all I'm left with is being his whore of a daughter. That's what he thinks of me now. If he started to treat me that way it would at least be better than being ignored.
I know that would just make it worse but I don't know what else to think. I've tried apologizing and he just says "forget it." But it sounds so cold the way he says it, like he doesn't want anything to do with me.
I hate myself for what I did to him. I molested him, and I kinda don't blame him for hating me. But it really hurts. I'm afraid I've ruined our relationship forever and he'll never be able to look at me the same. Maybe I deserve it. :(
Maybe you're ugly?
He should have understood that you were confused and he should have sat down and talked with you about it so you both could move on!!!
Yea cause every man should know that its confusion making his daughter a whore. Tf. People will justify anything.
I had a similar experience as her and thats what my dad did with me ...
The only way to make some semblence of progress is therapy and then eventually have him join you for one
This was a long time ago. i wonder what progressed after she wrote it.
When I read the incest fantasies (All pretending to be true of course) it is nowhere near what happens in real life most of the time. This one was more like the truth of what happens. It ruins relationships. Especially parent to child driving the sex.
He should have forgiven you after sternly telling you that it was wrong. And everything should have been fine after. I wish it was. And I hope that in the intervening years, it did. If I was your dad, I would have forgiven you.
If she awakened inappropriate feelings of any kind in her attempt he is probably angry and ashamed of himself especially if he's a good man.
It didnt ruin my family dainamic. It was strained for a while but then it opened up. Sex is regular now. But im not sure i want to continue. Not because its causing a problem just vecause im attracted to someone other than my dad and i want a new relationship. But thats just my expierience. Someone elses may be different.
You have ruined your chances at finding a good man, real men have no respect for women with low value....gross
That’s so wrong! I love women who love pleasure and love themselves enough to pleasure themselves. Don’t be so old fashioned and cruel! Enjoy your bodies
If you're having trouble with communicating, perhaps write your dad a letter. A lot of what you wrote here would explain it. He's your Dad, he'll understand and come around.
He is super super sad, or super super terrified, or both.
He has worked to make a life to protect your innocence and health, and woke up to you surrendering your innocence *un-asked* to him.
In a way, you told him you did not respect the safety he created for you. His Fatherhood has been in vain.
Now this isn't true, but it is reasonable for a man to feel this way. Also, given the laws and taboos around sex between Father and Daughter, it is almost impossible to have Therapy to relieve the tension and fix the emotional and physical mis-communication, and re-unite.
If you get a sanctimonious or cowardly therapist, they will see something sexual happened and blame your father, and report him to CPS or the Police. Only a Mature and Calm therapist can see that your Father is the Victim, and allow productive Therapy to proceed. He's really in a bind.
Let me make this clear: One pattern that CPS and Police see is when a child is so groomed to be a sexual object for an older person, that they Lie and say they seduced the older person. Investigators and Therapists will FIRST take the view that you are lying, and your dad is a Sexual Predator. Consider how your dad must feel.
Being a dad, I sense he is hurt, grieving, terrified, and has no place to go with it. Likely he lacks the sophistication to work it out directly with you.
You can only pray that some opportunity arises to reunite directly, or in a safe, non-judgmental setting.
Now, as to judgment/non-judgment. You fucked up, but not because you were evil. Forgive yourself, don't run away. Look for opportunities to be a grateful, respectful, daughter and human being, and do the best you can.
Time WILL heal this....but how much? who knows....
Stop beating your self up about this, either he will take you at some point in the future or he's Gay. Keep doing it or shoot for the brother. PS Your a cum bucket
Go for ur brother.
The simple truth has the best chance, since special relationships are about the truth.
Write a note to him, with "If you Love me, PLEASE read this !!" on it.
Tell him that you have felt lonely, and thought what you did would help you have a better daddy daughter relationship.
You are really upset, because it made you even further apart.
You want to have a close and happy daddy-daughter relationship, and need a chance to explain yourself, and beg for forgiveness.
I'm guessing that's true for you, and, if he can read the words without seeing your face, and remembering that time "Visually", cause guys are very "Visual", then you might open his mind and heart and get a chance to make up, and then ask for what you really wanted all along.
You can also send him a link to this page....it pretty much says it all.
Maybe tell him a lie by saying you took drugs once and did not realise what you were doing.
He might forgive you within time.
So its worth trying.
No, no, no! You never deserve the hatred of a parent, no matter what! Now, listen to me because I'm going to be frank here. What you did, wasn't right. You know that. However! His reaction wasn't right either. Perhaps his immediate reaction was just out of shock, but this cold shoulder isn't right and quite frankly, I would slap your dad upside the head if I got a hold of him. He should have sat you down when he'd calmed down and asked you why you did it. There should have been a long conversation about your feelings and about what has happened instead of him brushing it under the rug. It's not your fault, sweetheart. You felt alone and confused and you chose the wrong path because you didn't have anyone there to guide you. My advice would be to talk to someone outside of your family. Ask your Doctor to put you in touch with someone you can talk about your feelings to. They'll be confidential and impartial and they won't judge you. They'll just give you advice and the guidance you need.
It'll all be alright pet, okay? Just you hang in there.
Be VERY careful before seeking professional advice. Professionals are most often, flawed, judgemental, and cowardly in protecting them self from the perception of shielding a sexual predator, which many will assume your father is.
you could cause more harm, even greater harm to your father, like getting him sent to prison.
tread carefully....if you aren't sure of how, better not to try.
In simpler words: BEWARE OF MORAL PANIC by professionals and authorities. It prevents them from seeing the simple, harmless truth.