My number

My husband and I were our one and only when we got married. I had my first affair just before our 5th anniversary. Instead of pissing my husband off, he was understanding and just very curious about what I did, how I felt and my motivations. This evolved into him having a lifelong fascination with me having affairs. Although I would sleep with other men, I didn't want to feel like a slut. So I would typically find one guy and stick with him. The longest was 17 years. I have never went long without having two men in my life. I could justify my affairs since they were romantic.

Recently we took a trip to Florida. When I left, my count was 8. When I got home it was 12. We discovered that our hotel was near a sex club and out of curiosity we went. Obviously, I loved it and partook liberally. It was freeing to just have sex for the physical pleasure of doing it without any of the emotional encumbrances. At one point I saw a good looking guy and just went up to him and asked him if he would fuck me. He did. I still don't know his name. Now I am back home and horny as hell. I would love to continue. My internal dilemma is: "What will my number grow to if I submit to what I am craving to do?" I've already accepted that it is going to get to 20. the issue is what do I do then? Do I stop? Could I stop? I would I want to? Am I ok with myself if it gets to 50 or 100 or more? My husband says that he is ok with whatever I do.

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