Got abused all my life, now I need it to cum

I’ve been sexually abused since I was 7, now I need rough degrading sex to get off. That’s the worst part of it. I learned not to mind it growing up. I expected it from men. I almost felt there was something wrong with me if I didn’t.

When I was 7, my Daddy taught me how to suck dick. It was a little secret between us. I loved how good it made him feel. I remember hating cum in my mouth, but I tried. I liked to watch it come out, so it got on me a lot. He started licking me and using fingers. Before long, he would break out mom’s toys. I didn’t know that he was making me horny, I just liked the way it felt. He challenged me to get mom’s toy in my butt and I did first try. That same week, I was sucking his dick, he was really going at it with the toy and asked if I wanted to feel him cum inside, he went too deep and it hurt. He told me to hold on and fucked me a little to cum. He felt so bad that he gave me a piece of mom’s Xanax the next time. I barely remember but remember not feeling him going in and out so fast. I got really good at it too.

On my 8th birthday, he took my virginity. I was really excited for it, from what I seen in porn, girls loved sex. After a little piece of a pill, I took more than we thought! And my favorite, he came on me. All I wanted was to come home from school and practice. I told my best friend that I was having sex, I wanted to seem cool. Her brother said no way, he and a friend wanted to fuck me then. They were in high school and I thought it was hot they found me attractive. I took dick in all of my holes right in front of my friend. Daddy noticed cum in me and punished me. He didn’t want me to get pregnant, I understood. I knew not to do it again after anal with no pill. He made me promise not to again between sobs.

The next time, I was 13 and had a boyfriend. I was practically fully grown having sex the way I was. Daddy and I were keeping it to maybe once a week. That’s right around the time I started drinking. My boyfriend and I would go to his dads a lot, his dad didn’t care like my family or his mom did. One night when my boyfriend was asleep, I was talking to his dad and he asked about sex. I slipped that I’m good at it and how I can take a big one no problem. That’s lead to him taking his dick out and saying we wouldn’t want his son to know about the big dicks I fuck. I took it, spit on it and choked on it like Daddy taught me. He said it was so good, he had to try my pussy. He pulled me down on the couch and even though I said we shouldn’t, he told me to stop being a tease, I was already wet. Once he started, it felt good. He asked if I could take it like that anywhere, I blurted out yes. Then tried covering it with I need a pill. He told me stop being a baby and scream into the arm of the couch. I screamed for sure, he wasn’t disappointed with it. In fact, when everyone was asleep, I was his new toy.

By the time I was 15, I was drinking every day, hanging out with college boys and having very rough sex. There were two best friends I liked. I had sex with them both separately, but I was with them ready for both of them that night. They teased me all night at this party. They definitely slipped me something, once I said I didn’t feel great, they kicked out everyone except 5-7 guys. The last thing I remember was them pulling my clothes off telling me I was going to fuck them all. I have blurred memories, but a video leaked so I got to see it. It looked like I was enjoying it even if I wasn’t moving much. I was moaning, grabbing dick and cumming myself. Besides the multiple dicks and multiple loads, I almost got fisted, I got fucked with a beer bottle, they had me in all sorts of positions stretching me, hitting me, spitting on me. The craziest part is, I still kept fucking the two guys. I knew they could make me cum. They both had girlfriends but I was their late night fuck. They loved me tasting cum, pussy or condoms off them. They didn’t have to use them with me.

Right before I met my husband, I was tricking. It was great money and I got the sex I wanted. Men who pay for you, use you completely. So many nights, I’d get taken advantage of, anal without extra pay, multiple men, any of it. I knew I was a whore and got paid in orgasms some times. I was only supposed to take one friend, this other guy was going to watch. Instead, he held my arms, slammed it in my ass as I screamed no. Then feeling both of my holes fucked, I moaned a big fuck yessss. They laughed and gave it to me. I stopped it all when I met my man. Sex was vanilla for a few months until I cheated. We had make up sex and it was rough and I came like crazy. He said now he knew what to do with me. We stayed in an open relationship. He understands that I need strange dick using me. In return, I’ve let him sleep with pretty much all of my friends and my sister.

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