Cheated on my gf and am no longer a lesbian

I won’t bore you with endless streams of guilt or self-reflection…I’ve been only into girls for several years now, and been with my gf for over a year. Over the last 7 months or so there’s been this guy. We became fast friends, and started spending quite a lot of time together.

My gf always seemed to find it a bit weird, but I kind of always brushed it off and told her there was nothing weird about it. That it was just friendship. Turns out I was waaayyyy fucking off on that.

He had been getting more and more touchy with me, and tbh I never had an issue with it. I liked it when he’d put his hands on my waist or gently brush his fingers on my lower back or my stomach.

Eventually there was this day…we were on his bed, and told me how beautiful I looked lying with him. I told him it was sweet, and then he said “not as sweet as this…” and kissed me. I couldn’t believe it. He deff knew I was into girls only and had a gf, but still he made this move.

I can’t lie with this…it felt fucking good. Like really fucking good. My head was screaming to stop but I couldn’t get my body to move. He was on top of me and I just had nowhere to go, and I kind of liked that. My body just let him, and I kissed him back.

I felt his tongue in my mouth, and it felt incredible, I felt his bulge in his sweatpants against me, and it felt incredible. I wanted so bad to justify giving in completely. I whispered that I couldn’t, and that we shouldn’t, because of my gf. He kept kissing me and moving his hands all over my body and he whispered back “it’s okay to want this. Let me take care of you”…and that was it.

I gave in completely. I moaned a little and i think he knew right then that this was happening. His hands groped and claimed every part of my body. Before long we were having sex, and I let it all happen.

When he slid into me, I nearly imploded. I was literally begging for him to “take me”. His dick felt unlike anything. It was so warm and took up so much space in me. He fucked me every way he wanted, and I came so many times I felt dizzy a couple of moments during.

He asked if I wanted him to pull out, and stupidly in the moment I immediately without thinking said “no please don’t stop”. He smiled, took hold of me and just thrusted over and over and over again until I felt a rush of warmth shoot into me. I came yet again when this happened, and my legs wrapped around him and I dug my fingers into his bare back, and put my face into the muscle of his neck and shoulder. I moaned and moaned, and so did he.

I completely cheated on my gf on that day, and since then all I can think about is him doing all of that to me again. I want it so bad, and I feel like my gf just doesn’t make me feel the same way physically, and i don’t know if she ever will again. I don’t know what to do, but I know I just want him all over me again.