I had to know
I first suspected I wasn’t totally straight at puberty. The thought of being gay terrified me. I didn’t want to be. So I’d force myself to fantasize about women and girls when I’d jerk off. But I’d occasionally let myself have a male only fantasy and I’d cum so easy and so hard. Post nut clarity would kill me after and I’d lose sleep for days after.
After I got my drivers license I started having sex. I was determined to prove myself straight so I bedded as many girls as I could in well into my 20s. But I’d still need that occasional male only fantasy. I’d get off harder from jerking to guys than I ever did actually fucking a girl. People would occasionally call me gay and I’d get offended. I often wonder if they knew.
I finally reached a point of life at 26 when I thought I was ready to know. So I started using a phone dating service (pre internet). I met a guy on there and even made a date with him. I panicked as the night approached and I stood him up. I still feel bad for that. I soon after met a sexy blonde from HS who I’d believed was out of my league (I now know that’s BS). We went out and quickly got serious. We got married after only a few months. I was convinced and steady supply of pussy would take care of these other needs. That was wrong on many levels lol.
To avoid getting pregnant, my sis would only let me do it to her exclusively in her butt. We did it a bunch of times and our parents never found out.
Well I eventually realized that I was gay but it's just that, sometimes when I'm topping my lover, I think of my sister. 😞
Do the only logical thing. Do it Cobain Style!