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I hate being a pedophile
I can't stop thinking about talking to cute kids online, becoming friends with them, we get closer, and eventually date. I wish I could love them like any person my age. I get so horny thinking about kids looking at me or reading what I say. But I don't want to act on anything because it's wrong and illegal. But god I wish I could. I wish it was healthy and consensual. They're so beautiful it hurts me so much. I was hurt sexually when I was a child so I know how it feels and I don't want to hurt a child. I just want to love them consensually and safely and give them control.. I really wish I could kill myself and be reborn as a child and stay young forever.. I don't fit in with other adults. They're all horrible, terrifying people. Drugs sex alcohol maturity, that's all they care about. Well who cares. I want to watch Bluey and cuddle and eat dinosaur nuggets together. I'm a pathetic excuse of a girl. I can't even call myself a woman. Being an adult feels wrong. I'm not supposed to be in this gross, old, aging, adult body..
Nov 8
There is no cure for pedophilia, it is a permanent mental disorder, just like homersexuality. The only cure is to hit the opt-out button, and surrender yourself to the Grim Reaper, who will escort your dark soul down to the bowles of Hell, where you belong.
End it then! No recovery, you're diseased and should get the death penalty!
I'm glad you recognize your problem. You should get some professional help before you do something you can't undo. I love kids too, but know I would never do anything to a child. I did talk to professional help and control my desires and you can too. Best of luck.
Deep down, you know you loved the sex when you were a child. Society says it's wrong, that's why you feel bad about it. Find you some receptive kid(s) to love.