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A Farewell Gift
Today is her one year anniversary since she passed and I can’t stop thinking about her. She was my friend for 6 years.
Her cancer came back aggressively, she told my wife and I she doesn’t want to go through chemo again so she planned to enjoy the time she had left.
Before that she was also kind of a homebody who was only close to a small group of friends which was us. One night when the both of us were drinking, she accidentally blurted that she was still a virgin but she doesn’t want to lose it to just any stranger. At least somebody she trusts before she goes.
She didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to, she asked if i was willing to have sex with her but was willing to drop it and pretend it never happened if I decided no. To be fair, even though chemotherapy took a toll on her, she surprisingly managed to remain in relatively good shape. It did cross my mind about doing it with her in the past but after meeting the love of my life i moved on.
I decided to make it extra special for her. Got a nice hotel room, got those scented candles all over the room to make it more “romantic.”
It was the first time I ever had sex with someone I loved but wasn’t in love with if that makes sense. Plus it was the first time doing something like this behind my wife's back. it was a very intense experience. She wanted to experience everything and could not seem to get enough. The one-time event became multiple times in a week, leading to her final days in the hospital a few months later.
There was still lots of emotions. Even though she seemed so happy she got to lose her virginity to someone she trusts part of me wonders if she was satisfied with the short time she had.
I also feel guilty for cheating on my wife. I love my wife but was I wrong for saying yes? It’s just hard because I miss her so much. But I’m still glad at least I got to give her something before she left.
This is beyond touching to me. Even though you cheated, you gave a friend something she absolutey desired. You should be happy of that in your heart. Sorry for your loss.
You did the right thing, by filling a dieing friends wish. I understand your guilt for cheating on your wife, but you did it to fill a friends last wish. You didn't do it for sexual satisfaction. I don't agree with cheating in general, but I will admit I have fallen into the temptation myself. The difference is mine was purely for sexual satisfaction when my marriage wasn't going well. I still feel guilty but will never reveal it to my as I don't want to hurt the woman I love. If anything it has made me realize I love her and brought us closer together. Forgive yourself and enjoy your wife and take personal pride that you were a good friend and filled her last wish.