Bi in NC

Cheating was my biggest hurdle. The guilt I got from it was terrible. I was very careful about who he was. We met online and talked a long time first. He was a mature effeminate hair dresser. I partially went through with it because I’d convinced myself it was just a fantasy and that I’d likely hate the reality of it. So I owed it to her to get this monkey off my back. We’ll I didn’t hate it. I also didn’t mesh as well with him as he was total bottom and I wanted to try that. So we’d get together, I’d feel terrible after. Over time the guilt faded and we’d meet again. Eventually I met another guy I vetted far less. One day he had a married friend over and they spit roasted me, both bareback. I didn’t sleep well for months fearing what I may have caught. Eventually I was tested for everything and cleared. I haven’t cheated since (over 10 years) but I think about it a lot.

Guys you should meet up and blow each other. I would but I am in Australia

Welcome to the club, I have been playing with dildos for a big party of my life to avoid having sex with men. I am also married and she understands my urges, mainly because I have opened up about it. I still love her and she still loves me. I still want to have sex with her but I fantasize about men.

How do you deal with the not actually wanting a real dick? My urge for the real thing seems to keep getting stronger and stronger.

I never said I didn't want the real thing but I worry about catching an STD, especially HIV and that usually stops me from proceeding.I have gone to adult arcades and had guys jerk me off and jerked them off. You can also get a blow job there but as I am uncircumcised I would still have a small chance of catching an STD so if you are circumcized pretty astronomical chance of catching anything.

Yeah I'm not circumcized either. I don't really trust going into an adult book store. I've gone this long hiding it. I guess I just keep doing so.

Also, you can find an adult arcade somewhere further away from your home so that no one recognizes you but there is an unspoken rule that no one ever talks about anyone else who goes to these places. I have gone to these places forever and no one has ever found out

Believe it or not chatting with you about wanting to be fucked and wanting to suck helps a little.

Where in NC? I'll be there in Sept, near Asheville and have this same urge. I'm married and never been with a man but I do eat my own cum at my wife's request. I too have a real strong urge to suck off another guy and the more she makes me eat my cum the stronger the urge is becoming! Not much else I want. But we can trade BJs. Hell I'll eat all the cum if you aren't into that. I'm clean, shaven, a little over weight but well kept wealthy man! Never had an STD and a partner better never either.

Awe Asheville is a bit far from me. That's like 3 hours away.

But that's only 3 hours away from making your fantasy come true. You will finally get dick and suck dick.