Joking or...?

This was a long time ago, when I was in high school. I was at a slumber party. I wasn't even part of it, just listening because I wasn't one of the cool girls in the conversation. I pretended to be asleep like most other guests, so they were whispering. They were mostly giggling. It was a game to see who could confess to doing the grossest thing. It wasn't what someone was willing to do; it started with that and went to what they had actually done. So the usual unfortunate things, like other bodily function, like not making it to the bathroom on time, came up. One girl said she'd actually leaked diarrhea in a department store because she couldn't find the restroom. It all sounded mortifying, and even with the laughing they all agreed the person couldn't help it. But then it became talk of sexual things, and I could tell they were creating scenarios that sounded shocking to get attention and then say it was a joke and why would they all believe something so dumb? But then one girl said she'd heard that someone at school was having sex with her cousin, and she believed it because that hick's family is from out in the woods, they're ingrown, etc... so they all expressed the usual disapproval. Then one girl said that it's actually more common than people think, that it could be more people than just the one they had heard about. She went on to say that with many parents working full time and not a lot of supervision at home, it was natural for younger kids to explore. With single parent families, it wasn't uncommon for a girl to get extremely close to her dad or a boy with his mom and ... who knows? She sounded so reasonable. Then she paused and laughed at them, making fun of them for actually believing her.

She may have laughed it off, but I wasn't able to forget it. I'm still not so sure she was actually joking. After that, I kept trying to imagine what it would be like to have that kind of relationship with my father. He's a nice-looking guy. I didn't lose my virginity to my father and he never made any kind of moves on me, but part of me always sort of wished I had asked him to be my first. He's been a very decent, gentle man, and there would have been plenty of opportunities when I stayed with him (my parents were divorced when I was in first grade). It may not have hurt as much. I still think about seducing him, surprising him by going over there and stripping down to lingerie. I'd lick and suck him and mount him on the couch. Grind him. Ride him. Fuck him, fuck, fuck him.
I'm older now! Why do I still think about it?
Would I have filthy fantasy if I hadn't heard that slumber party "talk?"

By Anonymous

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