Enjoying the hidden side of me
Being retired now and single, divorced, I have resorted to online dating. It's not really dating, it is getting together with another man for sex. I started during the pandemic, and I found that there were other men like me that had been through the conventional life and were now stepping out enjoying something that they only thought about.
I thought about it a lot, and I enjoyed reading about it, old novels of secret sex between me, of forced initiations, of incest. I went to a military boarding school as a kid and there was a lot of messing around, the pecking order. Who sucked whose dick. And you did suck his dick, if not in private in public. You had to show deference. I had to suck dick, but that was in boarding school.
In my junior year during the summer there was a case in town of a kid that got seduced by an older man and how bad it was. His name was kept secret, to protect the innocent, but his perpetrator was disclosed and shamed. There were those in the community who thought it was bad what he did and there were those in the community who knew that the boy was part of it. There was never anything forced, it was a boy who wanted to know, he liked it. I know because I was the boy.
Now that I'm retired and I have time on my hands I use various tools to find like minded men. We have sex, that's the purpose of getting together and when we have sex we talk about our early years and how we developed the taste for a man. It's a taste, like learning to eat liver. The difference is you can go through life and never eat liver again, you cannot go through life and not have sex with a man again. This is much like out town diner, the men who ate alone at the counter, those were the ones that would meet you later.
I was at an awful boarding school in Africa, it ran by terrorising ten year old boys, through various privileges and deprivations until the victim became the perpetrator. I opted out and became a lover. I wanked off a huge cocked prefect at twelve years old and he protected me up to a point but it didn’t prevent the shit being kicked out of me.
What amazed me and enraged me was how many of these queer bashers wanted wanking off when it suited.
Although married for many years I still seek out man fun on occasion.
Women have no idea how many guys fool around with each other when they're not around