I remember my initiation, I yearn to repeat the feeling

I want to get this off my chest. It has been the source of masturbation. It was the moment that my clock started ticking, that my desires came to life. And my desire cannot die. No matter, once on its a drive, not a decision.

I was a school lad and I had a professor. He was one of those professors that seems to know everything. An older man, with a smile. He asked me to come see him and we went over my grades and he told me I had to buckle down, so for the next few days I was to come do my homework with him, in his office.

His strong hands, I remember, big strong hands. He patted my shoulder, or my behind to encourage me. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him, I could smell him. And while he had me close he would lower his hand and hold me tight with his hand on my behind. It tingled, I could feel this thing in my penis, smelling him while he caressed me, my penis responding to it.

He kissed me, my face looking up to him, he lowered his face to kiss my lips, his hand on my behind. He sat in his big chair and he brought me to him, and he surprised me with his penis. A great big monster thing, I held it with my hand and I kissed it. His hand on my head, I continued to kiss it. He stopped me, and stood me up and pushed my pants down. He held my penis and then he sucked on it. Long hard penis. Then he turned me around and had me bend over that big desk. He wiped something on my bare butt, it was sticky and he leaned over me and his penis went to work, it took a while until he was far enough in me, and he came, I could feel it, his hands hard against my shoulders, his breath strong, shoving me harder and harder against the desk. Until he sat back down and he was happy.

It's not a movie, or a story. These many years later, a grown man, I search for him, somewhere, I find him. I fall back to that day and please him. After his release and I can turn to see him, I see that same look in the man's face. Of utter satisfaction. I am satisfied too. Sometimes It happens over and over with the same man, sometimes once and it is gone. I know ecstasy, I yearn for it, demand it.

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