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Did my curiousity make me dirty
When I was 7 yrs old i found my parents home made porn collection, most was straight but some which I remember was my mother's orn was gay (2 or more men) I remember not finding it offensive and hinge watched over and over, while all naked if front of a mirror which I would run home after school nearly every day to play with myself fanisizing about sex with my cousins and best friends.then around 10 I spent summer vacation at my dads sisters house with same age male cousin name (scot) and I found he discovered porn as well just straight, I remember lying awake with him late at night talking about what I seen, till one time I asked him if I could touch and play with his hard on, he didn't hesitate before I knew it I was between his sexy legs tasting his balls and shaft. I'll never forget that first contact, I wanted it so much more i got careless and was caught by my own mother, I wont share her level of cruelty but she fucked my head up beyond the call of motherly duty, now 38 some years later i can't refuse what I enjoyed as a young man. I'm the cause of my divorce, and curent failed relationship with a woman non dicrimanate. I can't handle she won't perform certain acts i desperately believe I need. Should I try and ignore my desires yet again to not hurt someone other than me again?
Give some serious thought to what would make "you" happy and then either pursue it or give it up altogether. Remember, though, that your happiness should be near the top of the list. Just don't put yourself in a position that would hurt someone else. It's your choice.