Swingers Lifestyle: Part One

I was forty years young when this happened.  My partner and I had known each other for half of our lives by then.  Frustration set in when I had suggested she take me in her mouth and suck.  Any suggesting, pleading, asking or even bribing did not work; just the suggestion of sucking on me would shut down play time immediately and for a few days following.   It was then that I made the selfish choice to find someone, preferably a married woman, who would pleasure me orally.  Because I was not someone who frequented bars and cocktail lounges, my options were very limited for connecting.  I thought about an escort for an evening; however I did not want to "pay" for the pleasure; I wanted her to want to take me in her mouth just because.  So I began checking out Swingers magazines.  Remember magazines, they were popular before the Internet and before iphones.  Back then you made contact by mail and waited for a response with the self addressed envelope you included.  The cost was nominal; the investment came in the way of your six month fee for a P O Box; that was the way you kept yourself anonymous until you felt comfortable identifying yourself. 

I received a promising reply from a couple from downstate Illinois; they told me they were familiar with the lifestyle and she might be willing to help me out.  Finally we reached a point where they called me to make arrangements to meet socially and get acquainted.  I was to pay for the room and any refreshments.  I was nervous yet excited. 

Introductions were made briefly at the hotel bar and it was decided we would retire to my room and get better acquainted and talk openly.  Dee Ann was from a very small town not far from where I would pheasant hunt in the Fall.  She was a couple years older than me, pleasant and easy to get along with.  She was proportioned nicely for her age and she was nicely top heavy, I noticed her chest immediately.  He was several inches taller than both her and myself, thin and in shape.  He seemed pleasant enough.  We sat in a small group on the king sized bed, made small talk then got down to the matter for which we agreed to meet.  Finally we agreed to proceed, got naked and back on the bed. 

They had been in the swinger lifestyle for a while, this was my very first contact with anyone in the lifestyle.  I was way more nervous than they were; they had all the experience, that was partly why I decided to try a threesome with them.  There were ground rules, his grounds rules: nothing happened without him in the room; no kissing; no affection at all; she would take me in her mouth but would not allow me to finish in her mouth, nor would she swallow.  OK, agreed! 

I played with her breasts; then it was time for my initiation into the world of oral pleasure.  I was beyond nervous; I could only get myself half way up.  Dee Ann took me in her mouth and worked on me; I was not in her mouth very long when, in spite of being somewhat soft, I could not hold back.  I let her know and moments later I popped my cork on her hand.  In the meantime he had been watching all this and decided to put on a private show for me.  At my best he was about twice as long and almost double in thickness.  She got on her hands and knees and he did her doggie style.  I was next to her, playing with her breasts while he serviced her, which is how it looked to me; just sex, no affection.  It was like he was showing me how to do his wife.  When he finished and pulled out she was dripping on the bed from him, and went to clean up.  We chatted briefly, they had to scoot, they had to pick up their son from a neighbor where he had been all evening while they were out socializing and they put it.  They told me they would talk it over at home and let me know.  I was sooooooo disappointed in myself more than anything; all the hype and all the anticipation, pretty much unfilled. 

We exchanged more letters regularly, remember, there was no Internet yet and cell phones were barely on communication engineer drawing boards.  That summer they got in touch with me and invited me to their house; I was anxious to see Dee Ann again and I had come up with a plan.  That afternoon I had stopped at their local post office and gotten a box rental. Something about their letters was bothering me.  The evening and night at their place started to be more revealing.  Again NO kissing; NO affection: NO being alone together unless he was there also.  This time he wanted Dee Ann and myself to do the act while he photographed us.  That had not been discussed before at all, him taking pictures; I mildly objected.  Dee Ann and I got naked and played on the living room carpet by their fireplace.  I so wanted to hug her and kiss her in a warm and gentlemanly way.  In spite of my objections and hers, he went ahead and took pictures.  I did discover that she liked when a man came on her breasts and that is what I did that night.  Time to go and I put my plan into action, I had just a moment to tell her to take the small envelope out of my sport coat pocket before she handed the sport coat to me.  Now she had a key to a P O Box, the box was in my name; now we could write to each other discreetly and anytime.

When she began to correspond a lot more was revealed; things were not as they appeared.  Yes, they were swingers; they had been with fifteen to twenty couples and single men; this was happening just as the AIDS epidemic really got going.  They played and seldom used or expected their playmates to use protection.  That was most unnerving to me.  They both were employed in the healthcare service profession; if anyone should understand the risks, it ought to have been them??? 

What I found out from her was that he was over protective, did not trust her to be alone with anyone especially another guy, he had a temper and was very jealous!  He absolutely ran her life. He was in charge!!!  Swinging had been mostly his idea; he wanted to screw other women and he wanted to watch Dee Ann get screwed and suck guys while he took pictures.  She played along with him; played along so she could find a guy, a white knight, with whom she would ride off into a new life. 

I was vulnerable myself; I was beginning to have feelings for her.  One night we went for a drive after their son's ball game; I sat behind her while he drove; I had my hand discreetly along the side of her seat and I was caressing her bare skin under her top; she did nothing to make me stop.  The more we wrote, the more I found out, especially that she wanted out of her marriage.  She was very frustrated and getting more and more desperate; and began to take chances that she never did when I had first met them. 

She made the choice to meet me alone, at a hotel in town.  She showed up dressed all in white.  Finally we would be together by ourselves; we would do whatever we wanted to do.  There was a lot of emotion and affection that had been building up for over a year, the desire to express ourselves to each other in private was there.  We took our time and enjoyed each other.  Then she said "I want you, all of you and I want you to want all of me completely."  Dee Ann undressed, got on her back on the bed, opened up her thighs and told me "I want you in me all the way." 

The moment, the emotion, the temptation, like a dream....almost too good to be true.  All I had to do was be one with her, and consummate our relationship.  In the back of my mind was the reality that she had had a dozen or more partners over a few year's time and had been intimate with them without protection.  I could not do the act, could not connect with her physically, could not consummate US the way she wanted us to be. A week or so passed when I got a letter from her, they had connected with their first black gentleman; she used the P O Box to communicate with him discreetly.  Her plan was to run away from her situation and relocate to the St Louis area together and start a new life with him.  All this after she had written to me earlier asking me to leave my partner and start a new life with her in St Louis. 

She used her "nuclear option"; gathered up her husband's collection of photos he had taken, went to an attorney and filed for divorce.  I happened to call them the same afternoon she told him it was over between them.  He answered the phone; he was so angry and threatening.  I was afraid of what he might do to both of us. We met and had a heart to heart before she left for St Louis.  It was a bittersweet afternoon for me.  We exchanged a few letters after she settled into her new life.  Not a year passed and she left her dark knight and moved in with a new guy whom she was intent upon marrying, or so she said.  All this made me think:  what if I had left my partner and started a new life with Dee Ann; would she have traded me in for the next new model? 

Lesson learned:  there can be a dark side to the swinger lifestyle; adult fun and games without the commitment, with no strings attached?  There can be a price to pay, a very heavy price.  I got way too emotionally involved with Dee Ann; I was heartbroken when she moved to St Louis.  It took a long time emotionally to recover and I made a promise to myself to be extra extra cautious in getting involved with anyone from that point forward; to guard my heart like never before.

There is a postscript to this story:  technology and the coming of age and availability of personal computers, laptops in particular and me getting a new job.  Still no oral pleasure at home..................

4 months ago

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