Closet sub beta curiosity

I'm an older male, 62 as of this confession. I live younger, adore female beauty, and play alpha hetero for the public. Reality? Tiny penis and sub beta queer. I guess I qualify as a closet faggot sexually. A demeaning yet deserved name for me as I've serviced many alpha men's penises through the years. I consider it deserved for the emotional abuse I've added to any relationship I've had with women. I also consider my need to service men a weakness...yet a humiliating need. The main part of this confession is this though. I have an extreme curiosity of being out to assertive, manipulative straight dominant men or curious, strong willed women. My desire to mostly remain safe in my little queer closet. But knowing someone has my name and photo proof that I'm a faggot is both terrifying and intoxicating. Can't seem to shake that need.

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  • I have shared myself f****** wife videos to my colleagues and friends. I ensure that these videos do not show our faces. Just pass over to them as downloaded from the net. Once in office I played one such video of me and wife in the action and got a thrill hearing their raw comments. One colleague commented that the body language of the man in the p*** seems to be yours and I retorted saying that I would be the happiest man to f*** such a gorgeous lady with big b**** and butts and would also like to lick her p**** and c** in her and all had a good laugh. Another friend commented about her big b**** and brown hairy p**** as juicy and w**** hole. Other one commented he fill f*** her all holes the whole day if given a chance. But surprising one colleague who knows my wife came to me when I was alone and told he knew that videos were made by me and the woman in it is your wife. I just told him that is your fantasy just to save my face. That day I f***** my wife with much vigor thinking of my colleagues comments. See at****+swallow+and+man+c***

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