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Oh my god they were roommates
I know how this is gonna sound, it's gotta be some kind of cliche or something.
So, about a week ago I told my boyfriend I didn't wanna risk either one of us taking the bus across town just to fuck. And he broke up with me.
I was devastated. I still am, I mean we've been together for months, I thought this was something serious. But, I'm not here to talk about that.
My roommate and I have been in self isolation together because she shares my concerns. She's a lesbian, and I've known this since we moved in together, no big deal.
The day he broke up with me I kind of fell into a spiral. I was doing okay staying isolated because I knew I my boyfriend was out there waiting for me, and suddenly on top of losing him like the full weight of everything kinda came down on me.
I felt alone and hopeless. I started crying. If we had had anything alcoholic in the apartment I would have been drinking it.
My roommate was asleep, but she woke up and came to sit with me, and I needed a hug so she held me, and I told her what had happened and how I was feeling, and we talked.
She helped me put the breakup into perspective. I'm still hurt, but obviously if he's going to break up with me because I won't risk my health so he can fuck me he never loved me in the first place and I don't need him.
She reminded me that I have friends and family waiting out there for when it's safe to visit again, and that she's here with me in the meantime.
She stayed with me and slept in my room that night (nothing happened.)
I felt very close to her after that, as a friend, but as a result it made me consider I might be bisexual.
I know that when someone is there for you when you're hurting it's normal to feel like you might be in love with them or attracted to them when you're not. So I'm trying to separate those feelings out, but I have put a lot of thought into this.
I dove into lesbian porn online. All kinds, obviously it's easy to find lesbian scenes for men but I made sure to look for stuff targeted at women too. And, jesus, yeah. I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out but yeah. Girls? Yeah. Mhm.
Maybe it's because my whole life when I've seen other girls and women naked it's like, big whoop, I've got boobs too, whatever. So it wasn't like mysterious and I never really thought about it.
But like, thinking about actually having sex with another woman... yeah. Yeah, so I'm definitely bi.
Circling back to the point though. I think I'm legitimately into my roommate. I don't know how to bring it up to her without her thinking it's just because I'm stuck here with her or that it's like a rebound thing, or making things awkward if she's not into me, but like... fuck, if this could actually work out, and if we could be TOGETHER together during this... If this could mean that we could be closer to each other, and yeah, I'll be completely honest, if this could mean that the two of us weren't stuck just masturbating our way through the apocalypse as individuals... god, that would be so good.
It's 2.1 years later now, so I doubt you'll ever see this and it's waaaay too late for me to give advice, but I really hope this worked out for you. I'll go ahead and post my take anyway, and maybe it'll be helpful for someone else in a similar situation.
Some lesbians are gun shy around straight or bi women. Too many are willing to play "party bi" to impress guys or to feel edgy, not realizing that they're leading someone on who has thoughts and feelings too. So hinting at interest and hoping that they'll be the one to take the risk and put themselves out there and potentially ruin a friendship with someone who, as far as they've been told, is straight isn't going to happen. The perceived risk is much higher for her than it is for you.
If you want it, you have to find the courage to ask for it. If she's not interested, it doesn't have to make anything awkward or damage your friendship. If she IS interested, taking that risk could prove to be one of the best life-changing decisions of your life, and open the door to a whole new wonderful world.
Go for it.
Please just be open with her and tell her how you feel. As a lesbian I feel like she might be ignoring the signals you're sending because maybe they're making her uncomfortable. Just because you two live together or are friends doesn't mean she'll be into you. I hope this goes well for both of you xx
Okay, wow, our internet went out for a while and then I forgot, so sorry I haven't come back to update.
I think things are going well. I'm getting frustrated because I've been flirting and doing more and more things to try to get her attention and it didn't seem to be working.
Like, stuff I'd usually do to try to get guys' attention. Started out just sitting or standing close to her, leaning on her. I'd press my boobs into her arm or her back. I started walking around in my underwear, then lingerie, then topless.
Then like last night, which is why I remembered to come on here, I was wearing my favorite lingerie set, this like pink lace thong with an open bra. I was wearing this underneath nothing but one of HER tee shirts which literally is a shirt with two interlocked rainbow-colored female symbols.
We were watching Netflix in the living room, and I was really trying. I was cuddling up against her, I laid down with my legs across her lap, I flipped around and put my head in her lap. We got to the end of a season of what we were watching, and I got up close to her, and I said "I think I grabbed your shirt by mistake. I can give it back to you right now if you want."
And I started to take her shirt off of me so I'd just be in the lingerie, and she stopped me and she said, "don't worry about it. If you take it off now you'll be cold. Just put it in the laundry when you change." (Paraphrasing)
I think I've got a Useless Lesbian on my hands. She's not with anyone right now, and over the course of all of this she's been talking about how she wishes she could be with someone so like hi, hello, right here.
I think I just need to be more direct. If things get awkward, that's okay. We're both adults, we'll get over it. But at this point I'd rather tell her and see how it goes. Though at this point I'm tempted to write "sit here" on my face, and walk straight into her room naked.
I kinda flubbed at the beginning there. I said "I think things are going well" and I meant to say that I think it's going well *because she seems open to a relationship in general*, not because she's being frustratingly oblivious.
After thinking things over I'm gonna try to get something started with her. I don't want to ruin things with her as they are, but I feel like if I can work in a little flirting here and there that might be enough? Fingers crossed.
Not a lockdown situation, but my college roomate and I released tension together many times over our 3 year class schedule. Oh the memories!
That's a tough one to judge. It's a big risk. If it works out then great, you're already living together and things will go beautifully. But if they don't, chances are one of you will have to move out. Obviously moving right now isn't easy.
I think the best thing you can do is talk to her about it. Tell her how you're feeling and how much her support has meant to you and how your feelings towards her have changed. If she's open to it, then try it. If she doesn't want to rock the boat, then tell her you understand and thank her for being honest and for being your friend. And who knows maybe you two can just hook up casually to fuck the pain away. Nothing wrong with rebound sex if that's all it is
So what if it IS just a rebound thing, or isolation? Enjoy each other.
See, I've been in rebound relationships before, and it hasn't gone well. I want to know that I really like her and it's not just because she was nice to me before I give it a shot, and I'm pretty sure I do really like her.
That being said though, if that doesn't happen I do think I'd be fine with "hey we're both stuck together, why not have some fun?" Yknow, if she was up for that.
Don't do it, don't fuck up your friendship with her. This COVID-19 thing is bad for everybody, but, eventually it will be controlled. You'll be able to go out and meet other potential playmates, and retain her as a giver of good advice and emotional support. You'll risk losing that if you take it to another level, particularly if you're not as bi as you think.