First sexual experience

I had my first sexual experience last weekend, if you can even call it that. I’m a 17 year old skinny white boy, and I’m desperate to lose my virginity. My friend group are mainly guys, but recently a girl two years older than us started hanging out with us. She’s tall, like 6 foot, has a nice thick body and is kind of like an emo. She has the reputation of a massive slut, she’s had sex with like half my group (7 people) in the space of 3 months. She had a party at the weekend, and I reckoned I would make my move on her when she got drunk or something, and finally have sex. When I got there it was hard to, she got quite drunk right away and was already making out with guys. She spent two hours on a sofa with one guy, they were kissing and he fingered her in front of everyone. I was so desperate for her to notice me that I started asking what drinks she wanted, which she ignored but the guy she was with told me to get him some, so I kind of just went off and did as I was told. I started crying out the back annoyed, but when I came in to give him his drinks he was gone and she was on her own on the sofa. I say next to her and poured her a drink, and we talked for a bit. I started talking about how beautiful she is and cringe stuff, and she kissed me. I was so happy and the she invited me back to her room as we both got there, the guy was waiting in her room. She told me she forgot she was doing stuff with this guy, and asked me to wait at the side, so I did. She gave him a blowjob in front of me, and I wasn’t sure what to do, turning away embarrassed. But when she was done she swallowed and kept licking and sucking his dick, before getting up and finally turning to me and she put her arms around me, and started kissing me. She swirled her tongue around my mouth and I pushed her off a bit spitting because obviously I could taste his dick. He laughed and she laughed a bit, but gave me a drunk slap and told me not to ever touch her, and then she kicked me out of the house. This was at like 1 in the morning, but my friend let me in through the back and let me sleep on the couch in private. In short, I can’t even have sex with a girl who would literally have sex with anybody at all. Kinda sick of being so insecure around girls

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