I do what feels good
I've been married for 15 years. I've had sex with other ppl than my wife probably hundreds of times. At first she could keep up with my sexual appetite. I'm not hard to please. 2-3 times a week now would be plenty. For about 7 years its been as much as once every other week and as little as once a month.
I didn't seek anyone out on purpose. It started at a job im no longer at. One of the girls just started talking to me more than just normal work talk. Then she asked if I wanted to go back to her place after work. That started an 8 month fling. Upwards of 5 times a week. Had to break it off when she wanted to get back together with her ex.
Started seeing another girl at work. Wife and I had a huge fight and I moved back in with my parents while things cooled down. Spent a lot of time at girl #2's house after work. We fucked just about every night after work. Had to break it off when my wife and I worked things out.
Things were good but sex started to suffer again. Got on a gay hookup site and found that someone that lived close by. He doesn't care that I'm married. We don't get to hook up often due to conflicting work schedules. Maybe once a week.
I've been toying with my sexuality my whole life. Experimented several times. Had a few repeated hookups over the years but each time I'd freak out like having sex with men was somehow bad. I couldn't curb my lust for my neighbor or having sex with him. Then it dawned on me that I'm bisexual and it's ok.
I love women. I love looking at a woman's tits. Their ass. Love the feeling of pussy wrapped around my cock. I just don't like how difficult it can be to cohabitate with a woman.
My neighbor treats me like a queen. Kisses me all over. Sucks my cock till I moan and cum. I happily get on my knees for him and suck his cock. I gladly swallow his cum. I'm so glad he didn't tell me he was about to cum the first time I sucked his dick. I would have chickened out. Now I'm totally in love with swallowing the load from sucking a hard cock. It took some getting used to but I also very much enjoy getting on my hands and knees and being fucked in the ass. Lol if my wife could see me on my hands and knees with a cock pumping in and out of my ass. She'd flip for sure
Sounds like you need to leave your wife and find a gay husband ok with an open relationship