Not sure why
I'm in my 30s, married, and life is good. My wife is beautiful, she used to be a model, and has a perfect body. Tall, blonde, nice tits, fit as fuck, the whole thing. She is faithful and loves me, and we get along great, which makes my behavior all the more bizarre.
I've been cheating on her with an old friend from high school named Ava. She found me on facebook. I hadn't seen or communicated with her in almost 20 years, but we started chatting and it was fun. I learned that she is divorced, has a 3 yo daughter, and works as an insurance agent. She wanted to meet up for coffee, and I said okay. When we did, we had a great time, like I didn't want to leave. Being around her felt amazing.
Ava is not terribly pretty by conventional standards. She's short (4'10") chubby, and a bit plain. She has a thick ass and big tits. But I had a crush on her back in the day, and I still remember how attractive she was to me growing up. Her personality is also infectious in all the right ways.
We started meeting up regularly, and I confessed that I had a crush on her in high school. She said the same about me. She eventually invited me over to her place after lunch one day, and yes, we made out and had sex. It was really beautiful and perfect. Since that day, I've been smashing her cervix regularly, at least once a week.
I feel massive guilt for cheating on my wife. My wife is so much better looking too, so it doesn't make sense. In terms of looks, my wife is a "9" or "10" for her age, and Ava is at best a "3." But somehow screwing an uglier woman whom I knew as a friend from years ago is so much hotter than fucking my wife. Help me understand this. I'm out of control.