Not sure what to say
I've been having a fling with a female friend of mine. We're both late 30s. She's divorced, just started to identify as lesbian, and I've been happily married to a man for years. We both have teenage kids in high school.
It started last month when she made a pass at me when she came over to chat and have coffee. I'd never been with another woman, and she's very pretty and sweet. We started making out and she's a great kisser. It was first curiosity on my part more than anything, but I'm in love with her now. I also love my husband, but she is so much better to make out with than him. She's so soft and beautiful. She's been coming over about once a week when my husband isn't around. He doesn't know about any of this.
The problem is that two days ago my son caught us together. He was supposed to be at basketball practice, but it got canceled, so he came home early. My friend and I were still partially clothed, in our panties, but we weren't wearing anything else and were making out on the couch, limbs entwined and tongues in mouths. My son looked freaked out, I freaked out, and he left to give us privacy, but I felt terrified that we had been caught.
I seriously try to raise my kids to have good morals, so I don't know what to say to my son now that he knows I'm cheating on his father by having a lesbian affair. I have 2 huge fears: 1) that he will tell his father/my husband; 2) that he will think lesser of me from now on.
I haven't had the courage to talk to him about my fling, because I'm scared to bring it up. I've kind of been waiting for him to bring it up. Should I talk to him first, or wait? Or just say nothing?