I'm a 58 year old serial peeping tom. I'm not here to boast, or seek support, and I sure as fuck don't care about empathy, or its' sad, lying little sibling, sympathy. I don't deserve such, not at all.
I can't remember a time when I didn't want to peep. From the age of seven or eight I tried to peep on female playmates. The secrets revealed thrilled me in a way I didn't understand. At 14, the peeping increased threefold, and I got caught by my parents, peeping on a girl next door ; then a lady down the street ( who called my parents instead of the cops ) , and at 15, campus security at a college up the street caught me peeping in the girl's dorms, but I was charged with "prowling", my only juvvy offence. I cooled off for a few years, lapsing into normalcy with traditional boy-girl relationships, but, they were devoid of sex. At 19, I was caught with a younger friend ( 15 yrs. old ), peeping on a 14 yr. old, by her very drunken dad. We got off with a severe, but bleary, tongue-lashing. I resolved to quit my dangerous habit, for good.
Alcohol and recreational drugs seemed to help for awhile, then, seemed to fuel my desires. They didn't make me do a thing, they just let me. I even got a g/f who catered to my barely concealed perversion, prancing about in the altogether whenever she could, leaving her curtains parted, just enough. Oh, it was fine until it DIDN'T suit her anymore, and then I was a "disgusting perv ! " Whatever, bitch !
As porn got more easily available I became quite the dedicated user. Even after I got married, I would frequent strip parlors and adult bookstores, and had a stack of "reading material" in the basement. The advent of video kept me home, more often than not, but, it sure wasn't the thrill of peeping, unknown, in the shrubbery, outside a bedroom, or, bathroom window. After almost getting caught by a gun-wielding neighbor, I did quit my nefarious activity for more than ten years. But, in the back of my mind, I knew I wasn't rid of my affliction.
My return to serial voyeurism was a big hit. I fell through a drop ceiling over the women's locker room of the pool in my community, scaring the fuck out of the women ( and girls ) present, shattering my right elbow, my right kneecap, and breaking three teeth. I was charged with prowling and lewd and lascivious, with emphasis on the peeping activity. Because of an epidemic of local arrests involving the gay-cruising scene, a well-hung black teen who would flash white women, and a child-molesting school teacher, it was hot all around, and I got lumped in, and did a little over three months in the county lock-up. My wife left, and, then divorced me. And, until this very day, every time there's the bad combo of rain and cold, my elbow, and knee throb like the broken teeth I had to replace at a premium cost.
By now, you think I would've gotten the message, but, noooo, I had a one way ticket on the toboggan to Hell. Trying to go high tech with my voyeurism by installing a tiny security camera in a public restroom, I got busted with the camera, the recorder, and footage, red-handed. Admittedly, because of white privilege, I only did a year in state prison. That's where I found out that sex offenders, no matter your offense, are the bottom of the prison food chain. I was called "chomo" even though I never was, nor, ever will be a child molester. Didn't matter, they beat and raped me, three times, but I managed to hang onto my teeth. Getting on the state sex offender list upon release was the icing on the shit cake. I endured, and continue to endure it because, going back to prison isn't an option.
Life's funny, but not in any kind of ha-ha way. I'm off parole, now, but still on the s/o list. I couldn't attend church even if I wanted to ( which I don't ! ). It was required that I attend Sex Anonymous meetings, and even though it's frowned upon, I met a nice little pervette there. We bonded over our common situation ( she's on the list, too, for serial exhibition ). We both reside in a small, mostly rural community. I drive a truck for various farmers, at starvation wages, and she cleans houses, for the same. I learned how to cook-up drugs in jail, particularly "cat", or, methcathinone. I cook, she sells, neither of us uses. Cat will jack you up like crystal meth, but, it's a euphoric, too, so you feel fucking GREAT while becoming VERY addicted. It's a great drug for whatever sexual shenanigans you want to get into, which is an even better reason to stay away from it, even though Mother Nature is slowly curtailing our base urges.
Still, there are nights when we drink an extra margarita, and I strip and go outside while she undresses, slowly, in front of the bedroom window. She'll shake her hanging titties, and show me the pink slit hidden in her dark bush. I hold my erection, high, and ejaculate onto the side of the double-wide. She comes out a few minutes later, still nude, and licks the cum away with a sly smile. True love ! Who would've thunk it ?