I was raped at a club and I think about it when I masturbate

I went to a club one time by myself in a big city. It was my first time going to a club and I had never been to a bar or anything, so I had no idea what to expect. I had just turned 17 and I stole my older sister’s ID to get in. Growing up I was very sheltered and this was my way of pretending like I had a clue in the world. A few different guys bought me a drink but I just kept hiding in the bathroom what was I even doing there I didn’t belong. Finally I decided to do the most awkward thing and I asked this cute older man to teach me how to grind on him. I mean I knew the basics from the movies but I wanted to know what guys like. We start dancing and he’s feeling all over me which I assumed is what everyone did. He moved his hand up the back of my shirt skirt and I was so scared. He said “wow you’ve really never done this before” and I was so embarrassed I just wanted to seem grown up. I turned around and slid my down the outside of his pants and told him it’s just dancing right?... he said he could show me a few things in the back so I wouldn’t be so embarrassed. He grabbed my hand and took me to the back. She music was really loud so he said he would just guide me. I turned around and started grinding on him. He put his hands on my his and pressed me hard into hip and told me to go faster. My skirt started coming up and exposing me. He slid his hand into my black laced panties and I jumped he said everything was okay and that people do this all the time. I was pretty drunk so it made sense. I felt him unzipping his pants and told him things had gone far enough and that I was under age and needed to get home to my parents. He said if I was old enough to dress like a slut I was old enough to be treated like one. He by then had himself completely exposed and rammed himself as hard as he could deep into my underage pussy. His hand was gripped tightly around my mouth and the other one tight around my stomach as he thrusted into me over and over. He told me he wanted to plant his seed. I felt his warm rapist cum deep inside me at that point and had already given up and let him have his way with me. He came inside me over and over load after load. He then threw me against the wall and I hit my head and passed out I woke up a few minutes later and he was long gone and he took my panties with him. Now 3 years later I find myself thinking about it all the time when I’m masturbating. I since then have been going to the club and letting any guy get me drunk in hopes he’ll do this to me.

By Anonymous

Desire CONFESSION

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