You know what? fuck it.

I'm a healthy, horny guy about to turn 50. I'm happily married and straight. We are very happy together but our sex life has been slow for some time due to a medical reason. We've talked about it at length and manage to have a limited sex life, enjoyable when we do, frustrating when not. I'm much more sexual than my wife is, anyway. The story of the married male

I look at porn. I look at all kinds of porn. I do this because I need to feel the lust I'm not able to share with my wife so I allow myself to feel it for me. I don't project my affection or love on the people in porn, just my hardcore sex desires that are pent up, and I have my way with myself. perfectly natural

In addition to straight porn I also get a lot of pleasure from shemale porn and occasionally gay porn. I use toys. large toys. often. and I like it very much. I've struggled with all of this for many years, questioning my sexuality, wondering if my behavior was un-natural or dirty. I've tried to stop, thrown away all the toys, deleted all the downloaded porn, cleared my bookmarks only to come back and start again.

Recently after struggling one last time and waiting for my wife to be available for some love, feeling very frustrated I came out to my wife with all of this info. I told her that I'd rather save myself for her but this usually isn't an option and that I needed some relief and have found my kinky desires to fill the hole, so to speak.

She was not upset at all, confused at the content of my viewing habits and shocked at the size of my toys but happy that I can satisfy myself and sorry that she does not, most of the time

This lifted the burden on me in a big way. I realized that it doesn't matter what kinky fetish I may have, it's no ones business or right to make me feel bad about it, and the thought that I was perhaps gay or abnormal (not that they are related) was all in my head. For all I know every single person is walking around with a kinky habit they are terrified to tell anyone about. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm gay because there wouldn't be anything to be embarrassed about if I were. I think a lot of men walk around questioning this and making themselves feel bad because of the stigma we've been conditioned to believe. If my wife does think I'm gay or bi, that's ok, too. Maybe that thought would turn her on in some way, who knows.

All of this talk with her and my realizations has loosened things up with my wife a bit, too. we may try new things. She may feel a bit more available for sex, as available as her medical condition will allow her, and I'm there for her

In the meantime, I like weird porn that others may think is gay, or sick or otherwise abnormal. I like fucking myself with enormous dildos and dressing in panties. I love the look of hard cock, perfect tits, ass, gangbang sex, sissy sex, gay anal sex, DP sex, Big Booty porn, mainstream porn and anything else that turns me on.

I love my wife and love going to bed with her when we do. I'll gladly show her what I do with myself if she ever want to see it and I'll do anything in bed that she ever wants to

Fuck it, I'm not going to feel bad about it anymore.

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