Shitbag
I was about nineteen, and still living with my parents. It was Saturday morning and I had been out drinking the night before. My dad informed me that if I wanted to use the bathroom I'd better hurry, because some guys were coming to do a refit and it was going to take all day. 'I'm fine, thank you.' I told him.
Anyway, time passed and I began to realise that I needed a crap. It wasn't too bad at first but as the day wore on it got worse and worse. The bathroom refit had been held up by something and it was early evening; I was practically dancing around in circles, trying not to shit myself. In desperation, I grabbed a plastic bag, ran to a dark corner of the garage, and shat a full hangover into the bag, relief! But what to do with a bag full of stinking turd? I managed to find a plastic container with a lid, and I dropped the rancid bag into it and put the lid on. I stashed this disgusting parcel in my sports bag and then when I was just outside the railway station, I tossed the whole lot into the bushes.
I pity the poor bastard who found it.
I handle property damage, and, can relate to this. Most times, where I'm working doesn't have working bathrooms or power, so, I end up pissing in basements or garages. More than once, I've taken a shit in bags, plastic cans, or whatever's available, and stashed it somewhere onsite, especially if the property is going to be remodeled. Let someone else find my stuff..