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Incredibly fucked up thoughts
I'm turned on by violence against women. I saw a security video on YouTube of a woman being stabbed and I got aroused by it. I get turned on by Japanese Guro porn (drawn, not real life) even when it involves death. How do I rid myself of this desire, which I find deeply evil? I would never hurt someone in real life, but I can't deny that some dark piece of me has come to the surface.
Sounds like you get aroused by the temptation, fear..Putting a woman in a bad situation and potential attack. As long as you don't do any of it yourself, it's fine. My older sister liked me to take her to dive, dangerous, biker-type bars, and she'd dress so slutty and sexy, to put herself in possible danger.
While I'd never let anything really happen to her, I did let things go a certain amount, to give her the thrill (before we had sex). I'd watch as guys grabbed her ass, circled or surrounded her by a jukebox, talked her into playing pool just to hover over her and stick their things in her face.. She got locked in a men's room with a guy one time, and he really was going to have at her. Luckily, I got her out in time. The very idea of one of those skeevy biker guys forcing themselves on her petite, firm body was very arousing...
My older brother use to take me to Kings which was a biker bar and lounge on the strip in Santa Monica on Friday or Saturday nights and we usually ended up closing the joint down.
I stand 5'4" weight 103 lbs, have butt length natural bright red hair, fair complexion and during the summer a whole lot of freckles, Yes I am full blooded Irish and I would get hit on so many times, had my bra removed to many times to count and made to go top less numerous times. I have had my ass, puss and my lips kissed so many times and I loved getting turned on by big hairy bikers.
I kind of understand, sometimes I am sexually attracted to children. My advice is that you can't always control what types of fetishes you have. Just try to avoid any thoughts about violence against women and be sure never to hurt anyone. Maybe you should seek therapy for the underlying causes.
Shoot your self!!