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Missing sex
The worse part about ending my affair, is that im trapped again in my sexless marriage. I long to be touched by my lover again, i know we had to end it, but I miss the sex!!
yet the thought of being intimate with my husband sickens me...its just been too long - too much resentment has built up. dammit i dont want to be celibate the rest of my life!! Im 45....i have a few good years left!
Yep, been there...My marriage, and sex life, was in the crapper for years, forcing me to go elsewhere for any sort of action or human touch. Found it in a professional nurse friend, and, the on again, off again gf of one of my guy friends. Those two were constantly fighting and breaking up, and, she'd run to me for a shoulder to cry on, and, dick to pleasure her with.
Both of those women, plus others, did things specifically to please me, such as keep their nails very long and polished, wear certain things I liked seeing them in, and got into a few experimental sexual experiences together (nurse woman wanted to try hot candle wax poured into her hole, and, friend's gf had a thing for hard, yanking pulling of her hair..I'd snap her head back).
Sadly, friend's gf moved out of state, as did the nurse. I've messed around since then, but..Never like with those two.
As a young man in a marriage with no sex, I can say that if you and your husband have not been intimate in some time, then he is unhappy. He may not want to say it, but it's true. No one here knows the specifics of your situation (why are you still together, for financial reasons, children, habit, etc) but talk to him. You say the thought of being with your husband sickens you. Why? If you can both come to terms with what your issues are, you will both be happier. Who knows, maybe he would be OK with you having a lover on the side.
My marriage is on the road to ending. My wife never wants sex, no matter what I do or try. She claims to be too tired, headache, not in the mood, etc. All the classics. The only reason we are together right now is because we have a child, but even that won't stay a valid reason for much longer. I hate her family, they hate me, my family hates her, she hates them. And the lack of sex has turned me into a huge asshole.
Talk to your husband sincerely and see where you should go. Maybe divorce is the best option, but maybe there is something else. In any case, life is too short to be as unhappy as you sound.
Just had my affair of 9 yrs end with a married man end 3 weeks ago, so I totally understand and empathize being in a similar situation myself (wife caught on).
I miss him terribly but I understand his marriage came first...I am just the jilted Mistress....off to lick my wounds!
U can get it easily, all u need is to ask someone.
My God, you act like there aren't any options and that you're trapped forever in this sexless marriage. Grow up...YOUR life is in YOUR hands. If you're as miserable as you say you are, do the right thing for everybody's sake and end the marriage. Since sex, for a man, is a strong point of validation in a marriage and undoubtedly you haven't been sexual with your husband at all lately, then I'm confident that he's as miserable, lonely and unsatisfied as you are.
So STOP whining like a little girl, grow a set, and more importantly grow up, act like an adult woman and take control of the situation and get your damn life in order.