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Its confusing

I fuck guys and my boyfriend watches. So it a thing. He never asked, I'm the one that wanted to explore this. I wanted a friend of ours to suck my mans dick together. We finally did. It was hot. It was the first time I was naked with another girl in that capacity. She and I kissed and touched each other a lot. And we sucked kissed and licked my boyfriends dick and balls for an hour until he came in both our mouths. Again, it was hot. The nexr day I was feeling jealous and kind of mad that we did that. I talked it out over with my boyfriend and eventually I felt better. Then I wanted to do it again so we did. Just as fun just as hot. But I got mad about it again. But I still wanted to keep doing it. I torture myself. I dont know why, I know ii was going to be pissed about it later, but I arranged for her to suck my boyfriends dick when I was at work. My boyfriend declined at first knowing I could be uncomfortable after. I feel like made him agree to it. I texted my friend to come over because I was leaving soon. She doesnt know about any of the negative feelings I dealt with by the way. Up to the last minute my boyfriend was skeptical. But they did it. And I of course got pissed off. It happened today. My answer is having her come over to suck his cock with me tonight. She will be here in an hour. I love it and get off on it. Im kind of sort of into the jealousy part too. Whats wrong with me?

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      • Sounds like it is a turn on for you. Jealousy is your ego protecting you from a past experience. Like getting cheated on before or someone left you and you thought they left you for something better. Maybe you think he is enjoying her there more than you being there. Our subconscious mind can play a lot of tricks on us.

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