Man Boy Sex in Middle School

I was a boy with a sexual attraction for grown men
Don’t know why, I had a Dad I loved but didn’t think of him that way
Starting at 8 or 9 I’d get crushes on men, using athletes or actors.
Sometimes a neighbor or teacher.
I never knew how to act on it.
In Middle School I became completely enthralled with my gym teacher
He was tall, extremely masculine, hairy chest.
I was 13, he was 41 and I flirted with him
He picked up on it and one day told me to stay after class
He took me to the office, shut and locked the door and pulled out his penis.
It was enormous.
I honestly felt lightheaded
He told me to touch it
I did.
He told me to put it in my mouth
I was overcome with a desire to worship
After that it became a regular thing between
He tried several times to fuck me but was too big to penetrate.
We had makeout sessions and he engulfed my dick in his mouth several times
We carried on for about a year..ended when I went on to high school
Found out years later I was one of many boys he molested.

I never felt abused