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freshman crush
when I started school as a freshman, (I'm a guy) we had to change in the locker room for swim class. there was this boy (I'll call him Kim) with blonde hair, and blue eyes, a surfer type. but he was built slim and his appearance was very girlish and everyone assumed he was gay and they were right. he openly admitted it. but this is what used to give me a raging boner whenever I looked at him; he had the most beautiful curve to his ass that I"ve ever seen on a boy or girl. his ass was exquisitely beautiful. I used to get angry at myself for getting a hard on when I looked at Kim, but I stopped lying to myself and admiited that I wanted to have sex with him. I didnt know how to approach him. I was afraid that my friends would find out that I tried to have sex with him and would disown me or ridicule me.anyway it got to the point where I thought of Kim all the time. and I mean all the time. morning , noon and night. I finally got up the guts to tell him how I felt. I did and we had sex. It was my first sexual experience and it was a thrill of pleasure beyond words. Kim and I became lovers and were together all through high school and beyond. we began to hold hands and kiss in public and stuff like that. my feelings were so strong that for him that I didnt give a fuck how anybody felt about it. my thought was "you can kiss my ass. I love what we're doing and I'm not going to stop just to please you." some of my friends disowned me, my family found out about it and it caused many problems between me and my brothers and sisters. surprisingly, the person I thought would be the first to condemn me, my father, was the only one who defended me. he wholeheartedly was on my side. before meeting Kim, I knew absolutely nothing about 'gay' or 'queer' or anything like that. for the first few months, I didnt even realize that I was in a 'gay' relationship. It just didnt mean anything to me. Kim was the one who finally convinced me that I was gay. I've never regretted what I did. It was satisfying and fulfilling and it made me happy. that was many years ago and my brothers and sisters and friends are still alienated from me. since then I have had sex with women, but I still prefer guys. I've found women to be too demanding and posessive. it's just easier with guys.
Im glad to see that you were comfortable with your relationship because in this society you can't give a fuck. & I hope your friends and family come to realize that you are no different from the you you were before they (and you lool) found out. Even if, keep your head up c:
-A straight girl