My Son Dances With Bananas

I spent the day mowing my lawn and I have no idea what that idiot son of mind does when i'm not looking but when my wife returned home from the Mall, she tossed my Bananas off the deck, and I asked her why and she said "They were completely bruised." I just bought those Bananas the other day and now they've been bruised and I wonder did I buy defective Bananas from Kroger?? Well for some reason my son was laughing about it, and I asked "What was so funny??"

He told me that he DANCED with my Bananas; "Son You don't Dance with Bananas, those are for eating not for that foolishness." Those Bananas cost me money that I worked hard for to earn, and then you go and do something as silly and childish such as dancing with bananas; Who in the Hell even Dances with Bananas?? My son is not right in the head anymore he farts all the time in my house and stinks up my house, he puts on my wife's clothes and finds it funny, he plays striptease in front of us at the house, he draws pictures of naked women and looks for real pictures of them on my computer and to top it all of he danced with my bananas; I believe my son is criminally insane.

After I sent him home to his mother where I believe he inherited his insanity from I drank a bottle of Jack Daniels and then took a look back trying to figure out what went wrong with my son, and what made him act so goofy. I think my son needs to see a Councilor because he is not right in the head, and after all he's done to me, he's sent me back to drinking as a result. Than the next week when he came over he tried to dance with my favorite fruit eve, Grapes; this time I told his if he did the same thing to the Grapes like he did to my Bananas; I would skin his hind end. I hope now he's straightened up but, I really shouldn't expect much, cause i'm not sure what he'll do next.

Well now he's got my Banjo and is singing songs about Bananas, Hair, People's Feet, and Women and he's Playing these songs with my Banjo while sitting on the toilet taking a shit. Now this is not normal behavior for a 11 year old boy, and I need to get this boy some serious help before I completely lose my mind.

We went shopping at Walmart today and my Loony Son went to the Fruit, grabbed Bananas and then danced with them in the middle of the Store, I have never been so embarrassed in my life. My son is criminally insane and I think it's time for him to visit the loony bin or get some serious counselling.

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6 Comments

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  • It's time to get your son committed. Before you do, tell him his hard penis is his banana. Then show him where his banana goes and how to use it.

  • You need to show your son your Honey Pot to put his hard banana inside of,

  • Part of the problem is that his father drinks a full bottle of J.D.at a sitting. Damn!!!

  • What are you Fruit loops?

  • Sounds like he wants attention from you, and could probably use some reassurance you actually love him.

    You seriously blame an 11 year old for your drinking? Maybe you're the one that's criminally insane.

  • Absolutely

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