Sex and Marriage Counseling

My wife and took a vacation designed to help couples with their sex and marriage problems. It was a week long stay at a resort that focused on getting to know your own spouse again. During one of the counseling sessions, the therapist asked us our fantasies. My wife immediately responded that she didn't have any. After several minutes of discussions we finally agreed that I would go first. My wife and I had never discussed fantasies in our 7 years together, so what I was about to say made me very nervous, but I proceeded anyway. I told my wife the thought of watching her have sex with another man made me horny. The therapist agreed that many men have this fantasy and it was normal. My wife agreed it sounded fun and then told her fantasy which was to be raped. Our take away from the session was start by openly discussing our fantasies in the bedroom and eventually bring it into reality. We have discussed it in the bedroom since then, but haven't made it to reality. My wife is hesitant and scared to take that step. Just wondering what our next steps would be. The therapist isn't around to ask, so I'm not sure how to help my wife over this hump and move to the next phase.

16 days ago

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    • As long as you trust each other and she doesn't go behind your back and cheat,when I met my wife she was only 17yold ,she was very shy about men, never wore nice female clothes(baggy tops, jogging bottoms, but when we got together,I took her shopping,she bought a red Basque, tartan miniskirt, red belt, matching panties and stockings,took her out to bar, everyman tried to chat her up,we got home and she told me that she was turned on by the guys chatting her up and even let an old man touch her ,so I asked her if she wanted to go with oldmen,she said that she always has but was afraid,I told her maybe I could arrange it for her but with rules,that we both never cheated,go behind eachother, and we must trust each other and if she is ever out in bar with her friends and some guy chats her up and she gets hot and wants him,be upfront tell him that she has a partner and she would let him have sex but partner must watch,we have been together for 10 yes nope,no cheating,but great sexy times to look back on,and still have,so just talk to her,start slowly telling her that the men in bar when you were out together were all looking at her sexually,ask her how she feels

    • Keep talking to each other and exploring your fantasies together. Don't feel pressure to make them into reality until you are both ready (which may be never). And if you do take the next step, go slowly and make sure everyone involved is comfortable. Good luck x

    • I agree. It’s a ton of fun. But it changes the relationship. Be sure you are ready for that.

    • Exactly. Not everyone can handle seeing their partner having sex with someone else, even if the idea of it really turns them on. You can't unsee it and you can't un-fuck someone.

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