I'm a 'pedophile' that works with kids and won't harm them

I suppose I qualify as a pedophile in that I like reading porn stories about underage kids having sex. I like drawn pictures and comics depicting the same thing, though I would never look at any real photo of a child in any sexual situation as that would be harmful to the child.

I also volunteer with kids regularly and really care for them. I've helped to teach Sunday School, I've worked with special needs children through multiple programs, I'm a godfather and honorary Uncle. I truly love kids and want to help them. As such I live in fear of people finding out my interest and never letting me work with kids again.

Here's the thing though, I don't actually want, or intend, to do anything that would hurt a child. I like the fantasy, but I know real life is not the same as a fantasy. In the theoretical world of pedophilia I may read about the children are all happy and enjoying their new discovery while staying innocent and unharmed, but I know perfectly well that is not how real life works. I know that it's quite likely I would do real and serious harm to a child if I did anything to them and I have absolutely no interest in doing that. There is no chance, at all, that I would ever touch a child or do anything remotely sexual with them. My life is about helping kids grow, not harming them.

In fact I've known plenty of children who liked running around naked and I've seen plenty of children naked, and it's never remotely sexual for me. I've never been the least bit sexually attracted to a real child precisely because I don't want them to be hurt, a child being harmed is antithetical to everything I care about and since I know a child will likely be harmed by anything remotely sexual there is no attraction to real children.

In short it's just a fantasy, a world where children can enjoy sexual experiences without any kind of harm coming to them. I know that fantasy is different from the real world and have no trouble keeping that distinction. No child is in any danger from me nor will they ever be. My life is about helping kids grow into successful happy adults not hurting them.

Still I fear if anyone ever knew the truth they wouldn't trust me around kids despite my only ever helping them and having no sexual attraction to any real children. The term is so charged that no one would willingly make a distinction between the harmless fantasy and the far from harmless reality of actually doing it.

24 days ago

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    • Like how old.

    • I am the same way and female, even though I have held jobs where kids are involved I have never ever had an urge to molest them and my fantasies and thoughts are very depraved and deviant. I often feel guilty about it, I have had counselling for years about this and general thought is as long as it stays as fantasies and u never act out on them u r ok.

    • The worst thing a pedophile can do is act on their impulses. You repeat yourself so many times I wonder if you're trying to convince us, or yourself. Though there is no known cure for pedophilia , get some help, therapy and or medication to keep you from acting out. Yes, if you are discovered you would be fired so fast, and banned permanently from your livelihood , and even being around children you'd wonder if you ever existed, at all.

    • That's like saying that there is no known cure for people with rape fantasies, or people with fantasies for beastiality, or incest, or any number of other sexual fetishes that at least some people may be offended by.

      A fetish, a desire, is just that. Everyone has some, and not all would be a good thing to act on. Judging from the sort of porn stories I've run into online allot of those fetishes are bizzare or antisocial if acted on in real life. Luckily just because someone has a fetish doesn't mean they will act on it. People can still have self control, they can still say "yeah I'd like to do that, but I won't because that would be a terrible thing to do"

      At no point did the OP say they had any intent to harm a child or were worried about it. So You are saying OP should be punished, fired, and forced on some theoretical drugs (which by the way if these theoretical drugs worked it would be a 'cure' would it not? can't both tell someone there is no cure and that they need to start taking the cure now can you?) all because of thoughts in his/her head that have never been acted on and according to OP will never be acted on. Sounds like thought police to me.

    • Actually, the OP is worried that if his "fantasies" were ever known he would be ruined. It's one of the most harmful paraphilias known to mankind, and I was encouraging them to do whatever they could to keep from acting out. Drugs only curtail the urges, and are in no way, a cure, and I didn't say that. Not even castration, chemical or physical is a cure. No, I'm not an advocate of Minority Report measures ( aka, "thought police" ), but, I'm not going to normalize pedophilia in the slightest.

    • I believe ya

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