I'm fucking niggers...
I am addicted to degrading, humiliating sex. You would not think it. In three words or less to describe myself. White, suburban, soccermom (maybe 4 words).
I am 28 with a 5 year old son. Four months ago myself and husband separated. He moved into an apartment and we are in marriage counseling. Before marriage and a child I used to smoke pot. With all the stress I started back a few months ago. I knew another mom (Emily) who smokes so I would give her cash and she bought mine from her guy. Well three weeks ago Emily was on vacation. I called her and she gave me the guys name (Steven) and number. After confirming with Emily the guy texted me back and gave me directions to his place. I dropped my son off with my parents with and excuse of errands to run.
When Steven answered the door I was surprised. He was a dark skinned black guy and completely into the hip/hop, rap. thug stuff right down to his pants hanging down to his knees. Anyway I stepped inside and we conducted business. I was ready to leave when Steven invited me to smoke a joint he had ready to go. I have a couple of hours to kill so i said what the hell. We sat on the couch and got high as hell! After a bathroom trip I walked back into the room and as I walked by Steven he grabbed me, pulled me down onto his lap and started feeling me up. I didn't know what to do, but... Did I mention I had not has sex in four months. When i didn't freak Steven kissed me as his hands were everywhere.
After a minute he pushed me up to my feet and said "strip". I was so embarrassed! I wasn't planning on this so I definitely wasn't prepared. It's not that I am ugly. I am attractive, a few extra pounds after the kid but not fat. After the jeans and t-shirt came off I was down to a mismatched bra and panties. And the panties definitely did not scream fuck me. More like granny! And to add more embarrassment since I had not had sex in four months I had not had a close relationship with my razor and had a nice bush. After I was completely nude Steven stood up and looked me over as he slowly stripped down. He then simply said "get on your knees". When I did he grabbed a hand full of my hair and ordered me to open my mouth. He pulled me on his cock. I was sucking like crazy when he pulled my head back and began slapping me in the face with his cock. He started calling me names like "white whore, bitch, slut". He would roughly shove his cock back in my mouth and force my head down until I gagged and choked, then pull it out and slap me with it. My eyes were tearing up my face was covered in saliva. I couldn't believe it but this treatment was really turning me on! My pussy was soaking wet, literally to the point I could fell it dripping down my thighs. Steven finally got what he wanted, his cock pushed past my mouth and went down my throat. He held it there and said "there it is bitch".
When he pulled out he drug me to the couch by my hair and pushed me face down. I was so wet I didn't have any trouble taking him in my pussy. He fucked me for maybe five minutes as he continued to call me vulgar names. At one point he pulled out and stood up. He again grabbed my hair and pulled my head up and shoved his dirty cock in my mouth, ordering me to "suck it clean". After a minute he shoved me back down and started fucking me again. He ordered me to tell him that "I loved his nigger cock". As he verbally abused me I kept screaming "I love your nigger cock"! When he was ready to cum he stood up and made me get on my knees in front of him. He stroked his cock and shot a huge load of cum on my face. He used his cock to rub the cum all over my face as he called me a "white whore".
After cleaning up I picked up the kid and went home. I couldn't sleep that night thinking about what had happened. I have never been treated like that and made to do those things. I was still so horny I had to masturbate after going to bed.
The next day I texted Steven and asked if I could come back. He said yes!
Since then I have spent the last three weeks doing things I NEVER thought I would do. I found out the hard way Steven loved fucking girls in the ass. It really turns him on to do ass to mouth. I have been pissed on, fisted and even shared with his friends. Sharing me led to DP and even letting Steven and four of his friends gangbang me. Steven has even videoed many of the sex acts. The more degrading the sex the more it is turning me on.
I can't quit but I am getting scared things are going way too far. Two days ago Steven made me dig in my purse and give him my birth control pills. He threw them away. Neither Steven or his friends have used condoms but I was at least on birth control. After taking the pills away Steven made it a point to fuck me and fill my pussy with his cum as he kept saying I am going to have a nigger baby.
I want to keep my suburban like and even my marriage. But I can't stop. I love being used and nice guys won't treat me like this. What can I do?