I want to have sex with my cousin
When I was 11(F), I had a crush on my cousin(M) who was 10 at the time. I told my friend when we were at family party, and she said she wouldn’t tell.
Well, she ended up basically telling him. She says she asked if he liked me. He responded “Yeah, she’s my cousin”, not the response she wanted so she just walked away.
Later on he asked me why she wanted to know. I told him it’s because I liked him, as a crush. He was blank about my response, nothing happened that time.
I don’t remember if it was the next party or the one after that when we kissed. It was quick, nothing arousing. We kissed a lot of other times, but it was quick also.
I was 12 now, he was 11. He was noticing that yeah, I have boobs. He said he wanted to touch them, I wanted him to touch them so bad. I was more worried about getting caught, my mom is a helicopter mom.
Months later, we saw each other again. The party was coming to end, it was midnight. We were discussing having sex, I so wanted to do it. There is where I basically gave him sex Ed.
I told him without a condom I would get pregnant. He said just the tip, I didn’t want to risk it. He said we could go into an empty room and do it, and I wanted to.
A year later, we kept contact through discord (because of pandemic). A few months later I gave him some nudes, and a day later he said it was a hacker and blocked me.
I’m 14 now, and I see that they’re having some family parties. I told my mom I wanted to go real bad, she said no even if I wore a mask. My mom has showed me some pictures from the parties, he’s gotten a lot taller and different. I hope his feelings haven’t ended. My libido is high, I want him.