Just a Cocksucker Without Labels

I must confess, I'm a late bloomer, an older guy now, married with wife and grown kids. Just retired recently and have time alone at home. I've had desires and fantasies about sucking cock and swallowing cum for as long as I can remember, but I was confused in the early years and was scared of becoming gay, or I missed the cues. I chickened out so many times in the beginning. God, I've chickened out on so many experiences I could have had when I was young, when I used to jack off from the thought of a guy ejaculating a big creamy load in my mouth, filling my throat.

I still jack off daily thinking of it, wishing I could find a married friend who needs it, a guy who wants me between his legs, sucking and licking, so greedy for that rush of warm seed, that big load, loving the creamy texture, the spurts, the spasms and groans of release. When I finally did it and learned how I love it, how natural it is.

Oh, there are times I could talk about the excitement and all the stress in the early days of hit and miss, never having the courage to meet some guy, of not knowing how to say it, feeling my head throbbing with stress, thinking there might be an interest but not being sure, not knowing how to bring it up, being afraid of the response if I were wrong.

And so I met guys through adult personals, answering ads and running ads, always hoping something would click. They would either be skanky sleazy types who made me feel self conscious or downright nervous, many times unsafe. I chickened out a lot back then.

The first time a guy came in my mouth I wasn't even sure what it was. I had met this real queenie pretty gay through an adult paper, and I remember feeling this was so unreal. I think he wasn't sure what he was doing with a newbie like me, but he was beautiful, and his cock was beautiful, but not big. He told me he was a bottom and didn't usually like getting sucked, and that he probably wouldn't be ablt to cum.

I remember the taste, the soft fragrance of him, the smooth flesh of his member growing hard, the feeling of it sliding into my mouth, how good it felt. And I remember a sweet trickle, and how I savored the droplets from his slit. Oh, I thought it was precum, I wasn't sure. I remember loving the sweet drops, licking them up like a lollipop. But he was sort of blah in his attitude, just silent as I savored his shaft, loving it so sensuously, my first cock :)

And then I tasted a watery trickle, sweet and delicious in my mouth. It wasn't much though. I didn't know if that was pee or precum, and it wasn't milky or thick. It was delicious but just a small tepid release. I wanted more passion, and more volume too. He told me he had climaxed and I was surprised. I liked it but was disappointed, wanted more.

A bit later I met another man through an ad. I was still young and naive, and I remember being so nervous as he invited me into the front bench seat of a huge old caddy, probably early 60's or 70's. We were going to do it in the front seat but I was nervous . . .. there was no window tinting and the windows were low. We went to his place. I remember feeling so nervous, but he was horny and so was I. I remember he said some things to relax me and before I knew it he was unbuckling on his couch, releasing a raw hard cock that sprang out, all bushy and straining, I think it was veiny too. Oh, he was not pretty at all, but he was horny and passionate. This suckoff was delicious in a different way.

I was fondling his scrotum, licking and sucking his sack, then sheathing his raw passion between my lips, discovering it, tasting his musky scent as I took it deep to the back of my throat, as deep as I could. I didn't know what face fucking felt like, and I was surprised when he started pumping my throat. I couldn't get it in too deeply but felt his passion, loved the feeling of being taken. And then, while he was pumping, his hand in my hair, he was moaning and all of a sudden a big thick squirt came jetting into my mouth!

Oh, it jetted up my nose, and a drop of sperm dripped out ! Oh, it tasted different, raw, delicious, thick, maybe a little salty. I wasn't used to it but I remember loving the taste as I swallowed the cum still coating my throat.

Oh, and then there was a guy called Larry. This happened much later, just before I got married. Larry was not really talkative but friendly. He was just a nice gentle guy. We drove up and found what we thought was a secluded parking lot, and I fondled him in the front seat, feeling his massive ball sack. His cock was not too long but was thick. There was some activity in the parking so we drove to a side road up a steep hill. And oh, I was ravenous for it, sucking so sensuously, wanting it so. I felt him straining as it swelled. Oh how I loved that feeling, knowing he was getting close.

He made some moaning sounds and told me he was cumming, and there I was, hunched over him, swallowing as much in as I could, my fingers massaging the bottom of his scrotum as he shot two big squirts deep in my mouth, two delicious thick spurts :) And I remember savoring his semen as I kept his limp cock in my mouth, massaging out every drop from his balls before I swallowed it down. It had a kind of neutral texture and taste.

God I miss Larry. We were going to do it regularly, but I was getting married and the only place to do it safely would have been at my apartment. Oh, I probably could have found a way, but I missed it. I missed it for years and years.

And then finally, Jerry happened in my later years while I was still working. Oh, Jerry was also a married guy a bit younger than me. It's a long story how we met. I was helping Jerry and his wife as part of my job. But we ended up starting a friendship outside of work. Everything seemed relaxed and easy with Jerry. We used to meet at a coffee shop and I would treat him, it was nice. God I remember getting up the courage and didn't know how to bring up that I wanted to suck him off. There was something exciting about it because I met him naturally, not through an ad or anything like that.

We talked about personal things and I dropped some vague hints, afraid of his response. But he seemed natural and I sensed he might have wanted more. I did something silly like a teenager might do -- I wrote him a letter telling him I liked him as a friend but I spilled the sexual side of me. I was shocked that he liked it ! He was open to it, and said he wanted to experiment too. Before I knew it we were searching to find parking spots after work in the evenings. Oh, it was risky, hunched over him, engulfing his beautiful cock between my lips, so greedy and sensuous as I suctioned him down, feeling his moans, the swollen flesh giving me his seed. Oh, god I loved the creamy squirts, sometimes it would be one, sometimes two big squirts. Once he was watching porn while his wife was away, and I remembering gulping down three big loads of milk, so delicious. On weekends I would sneak into his garage at times, or it would be in his bedroom, me on the floor between his legs. Sometimes it would be a motel if we wanted to spend lots of time together, but usually I would suck him off at his home.

Once it was on my couch, and once in my garage. And then Jerry and his wife moved back east, and it all ended. God I miss those times. I really love it when a man comes onto me, or just tells me he wants it, he wants to be sucked off. I love it when he fondles me too, and I love it when I am in a compromising position and he's unbuckling, or rubbing his crotch, waiting for me to unbuckle him, waiting to show it to me.

I love it when he's not just laying back but parting my lips, wanting it, sliding it in, rubbing it across my face, whispering something, knowing I want it so. And what I really want is the rawness, the passion, the thick squirts as he empties every drop and I swallow him down. I love it, and wish I could find that friend again. It is so dangerous now with Covid, but hopefully soon there will be a way with a little trust. Thank you :)

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